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Celebrating 20 Years of Changing Fatherhood

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Fatherhood Changes Everything...And We've Changed Fatherhood

Ryan (Colorado)

"My dad really was never around. I don't know where he is today. I was raised by my grandma. My grandpa passed away. I really didn't listen to her or relate to her like I should because she was a lot older than me. Not having a dad around really influenced me with my daughter, that I know I have to be there for her, and I have to be around. My grandma raised me to take care of responsibilities. I feel like a good dad. I'm not great because I've made some mistakes here and there. This is my first daughter, my first kid. It's just fun. Probably the best experience in the world was watching her be born and then cutting the umbilical cord, just being there for the whole birth process. I don't know how you cannot want to give your kid everything, just seeing what you created. Everything may not go right between you and the other parent, but you always have a strong bond with your kid. That's the most important thing – just have a strong bond with your kid, because the kid needs both parents." —Ryan Williams (Colorado Springs, Colorado) Read More...

Randall (Texas)

"I tell my daughter from time to time, 'Remember, you can ask me anything you want. Even if I'm embarrassed, I'm still gonna answer you.' I remind her that I don't get embarrassed about my handicap. I'm trying to build a good rapport with her and talkig to her about trust. And I try to let her make as many decisions on her own as she can while she is young, so that she gets better at it when she is older. I am not going to expose her to everything. I am not going to hide things from her. I just want to make sure she is ready for life and ready to be happy. Another thing, I refuse to spank. My father spanked me. His father spanked him and on up the line, so I'm breaking the chain. It takes a little more time and a little bit more patience, but I think in the end it's going to be better for her." —Randall Gonzalez (San Antonio, Texas) Read More...


Jerre (Pennsylvania)

"My advice to other dads? Get involved with your family. Make sure that you're there with them every day, from the morning through the evening. Just try to keep up with the education. Education is the number-one thing when you're raising your kids, so that they can definitely have a better way of life once they leave the home. Just talking to your kids, playing games every day will help their social skills a lot better once they are able to get out there in the real world. Just all the love you can give them, hugs, just reading stories at night is one of the best things I can see now and maybe in my past." —Jerre Fields (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) Read More...


John (Wisconsin)

"There is a certain point in our lives where we really need to come to grips with who we really are. And, by doing that, I believe that we as men, globally, would then be better understood or begin to present ourselves in a fashion to where people would respect us more as being men and fathers. If we begin to encourage the things that the fathers are doing and not so much beat up on them with what they are not doing, I can guarantee encouraging a man releases some stressors in our lives that we will be more effective as men and fathers. So I encourage all men to come out—fathers, fathers-to-be, and men thinking about becoming a father. There is nothing like preparation now. Something may take place in a man's life, and they have a child. It wasn't planned, but they have a child or a seed. So let's get hold of the concept of what a father is. And if men marry into a family where a woman already has children, they know how to be a father." —John Thomas (Milwaukee, Wisconsin) Read more...


Wilburn (Washington)

"I grew up with my father. My mother and father divorced when I was about two or three. My mom ended up dying when I was about six or seven. My father remarried about a year after my mom passed. So I learned watching my father, how to take responsibility, not only to provide, but also to maintain the house. My father could sew, clean, cook, do dishes, iron, you know, as well as any woman that I ever seen. We have lots of men, primarily African-American men, who don't have fathers at home, and so they don't see that model. I think it's the culture of the society we live in, too, is not promoting family in the context in which we're talking about. It's promoting a single lifestyle, alternative lifestyle. I think one of the key things I've learned as a father with my daughter is to admit when I'm wrong and to apologize for hypocrisy." —Wilburn Carver (Seattle, Washington) Read More...


Joshua (Iowa)

"I get along with my father great. I try to have the same relationship with my kids. Sometimes, I'm not there as much as I'd like to be because of work. I remember, when I was a kid, it was always nice growing up. There's lots of kids that didn't have a stable family, and I think it's nice to grow up having both of your parents around. I think I learned a lot from having both my parents around and seeing them together, even the arguments, because that's a part of everybody's marriage. Nobody's perfect at parenting. Just be as good as you can be. That's it." —Joshua Chiles (Des Moines, Iowa) Read More...