Mobile Toggle
btn-shop-fathersourcehomepage-btnbrn-free-resources
donate twitter  facebook  mail_button 

The Father Factor

subpage-image

Ryan Sanders

Ryan is Director of Marketing and Communications at National Fatherhood Initiative. He is married with two young daughters and lives in Northern Virginia.
Find me on:

Recent Posts

Faith-Based Fatherhood Spotlight > Pastor and His Dad Serve Fathers in Kentucky Jail

David Kibler is senior pastor at Catalyst Christian Church. He has found a way to combine two of his passions—parenting and ministry. He created fatherhood classes at the Jessamine County Detention Center and is helping connect fathers to families—even when the fathers are behind bars.

55ddcf6541b67.imageWriting for The Jessamine Journal, Amelia Orwick brought Pastor Kibler's great work to our attention. In her column, she discusses how InsideOut Dad®, our curriculum that works to bridge the gap between incarcerated fathers and their children, is helping connect incarcerated fathers to their families. The following post comes mostly from Amelia's article. We recommend you read her full article here

“If we’re not going to carry the gospel to dark places then what are we doing?” Kibler asked. “One of the darkest places in Jessamine County is the jail.”

In June, Kibler and his own father wrapped up their first session in Jessamine County, after getting their start at the Fayette County Detention Center through the Lexington Leadership Foundation in 2013. They are the first father-son teaching duo in the area, Kibler said.

What's a typical class look like? 10 inmates usually attend one class per week for a 12-week period. In Jessamine County, however, inmates attended two classes per week for six weeks.

“They all love their kids,” Kibler said. “They just don’t know how to be dads.”


A father of four, Kibler has no problem teaching the men about character building, discipline, co-parenting and childhood development.

“Most of these guys don’t have dads,” Kibler said. “To see a grown man and his grown father working together, it’s been a really neat example for them.”

“Most of these guys don’t have dads." —Pastor Kibler


Kibler, who has taught almost 10 sessions alongside his father, also enjoys the familial experience, he said.

“It’s really cool when your dad jumps in on something you’re passionate about,” Kibler said. “ ... We just have a great time.”

By improving relationships, InsideOut Dad® lowers recidivism rates at the detention centers where it is in place. On average, about 70 percent of addicts return to jail. But for men who have completed the program, that number is only 35 percent, Kibler said.

“It’s effective, it’s proven and it’s faith based,” Kibler said. “It’s a fantastic program.”

Implementing the program was the beginning of a push for more rehabilitative programs at the detention center, said Jon Sallee, Jessamine County jailer.

“I hope this is just the tip of the iceberg of what we’re going to be able to do at the jail,” Sallee said.

The feedback from inmates who participated in the first session was overwhelmingly positive, he added.

“They all really enjoyed the program and learned a lot. Hopefully they’ll use those tools when they get out,” Sallee said. “ ... They can come out and be with their families, be more productive, be more understanding.”

Kibler remains in touch with many who have completed the program via Facebook, he said. Others have joined Catalyst Christian Church and given their testimony.

“(Catalyst) celebrates the prison mission,” Kibler said. “ ... The support I get from my church is amazing.”

Kibler said he also makes himself an “ongoing resource” by offering free marriage counseling and wedding services to the men who go on to marry the mothers of their children.

“I really like these guys. They’re my friends,” Kibler said. “We spend a lot of time together.”


The program is offered to inmates on a first-come, first-serve basis. Kibler has grown as a minister and a father since becoming involved with InsideOut Dad, he said.

“My favorite time of the week is 10:30 on Sunday morning at Catalyst,” Kibler said. “My second favorite time is 9 o’clock on Tuesday mornings at the (detention center).”


Nice work Pastor Kibler, Catalyst Church, and the jail in Kentucky! Keep up the great work of serving fathers and families in your community!
iod_chrisitan_kit__10164.1399381360.1280.1280

 

This post spotlights our InsideOut Dad Christian™ resource. Whether you work in corrections, are faith-based, or simply want to volunteer leading dads in your community, learn more and download free samples of our popular InsideOut Dad® Programs here

 

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Spotlight > Washington State Dept of Corrections Teaches Fathers from Prison [Video]

I often complain about all that's broken with America's "corrections" system. But, after seeing this video, I know one correctional officer living up to the title. Imagine a uniformed correctional officer getting off work, changing into his normal street clothes, and then volunteering to teach dads how to be better dads from prison. That's who you will meet in this post. Read and watch how Washington State Department of Corrections is connecting father to family.

Screen_Shot_2015-08-24_at_3.32.58_PMYou know about the father absence crisis in America and you know a big part of this crisis is Fathers Behind Bars, but here's a few reminders:

  • There are 2.7 million children with a parent in prison or jail.
  • Ninety-two percent (92%) of parents in prison are fathers. 
  • 650,000+ ex-offenders are released from prison every year.
  • Two-thirds of ex-offenders, or 429,000, will likely re-offend within three (3) years.

This problem is one the Department of Corrections in Washington State is addressing. On any given evening, you'll find dads meeting to talk fatherhood and family.

"There's no facilitators. There's no students. What it is is 16 participants trying to become better dads and learning about ourselves." —Joseph Nunan (Correctional Officer, Washington State Penitentiary)

Can't view the video? Watch here.

Derrick Jones, an offender in the Washington State Penitentiary says of the Inside Out Dad® Program:

Primarily, the program is really geared toward men learning to communicate. Really, learning how to communicate with our children, learning how to communicate with ourselves, reflect back on our past, and try to understand why I think the way that I think.

The InsideOut Dad® Program is offered at several prisons in Washington State. The goal of the program is to offer the skills that fathers in prison need to help connect them to their children and families—both while in prison and once released.

We are encouraged by Officer Nunan and what he has to say:  

What the program does is to let the inmates know why they're there, to make them understand what happened to them to get there, and to be able to say you've got things to offer to your children. 

Can you imagine the sense of purpose this can give to father behind bars? To understand that he matters. That he can correct mistakes made in life. That he can work to restore what may be broken in his family or with his child.

The video shows John Radzikowski, a volunteer, explain the importance of having a program like InsideOut Dad® for inmates:

The prison culture itself does not allow for men to talk about their children in an intimate way. What this has done is we can together collectively to talk about our parenting, and not only our parenting skills, but also if we had parents in our own lives. And what that led to is dealing with issues of the heart.

In the West Complex, the correctional officers who volunteer for InsideOut Dad® come in plain clothes, during non-work hours, and they volunteer their time to help these dads become better fathers.

Officer Nunan says of the program:

We can see a direct correlation between this course and the inmate attitudes on the outside of this course...There's a positivity in there (during a program session) that I never expected. And it's something that should be harnessed and encouraged to grow.

We agree with you, Officer Nunan. This program should be encouraged to grow!

iod_fhb_cvr

 

Whether you work in corrections or would like to volunteer leading dads to be better dads, you can download the free sample > InsideOut Dad®


InsideOut Dad® is the nation's only evidence-based fatherhood program designed specifically for incarcerated fathers. Please consider volunteering to help connect father to family.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Upcoming Free Webinar from FRPN > Engaging Mothers & Improving Coparenting in Fatherhood Programs

On Tuesday, September 22 from 12:00 – 1:30 p.m. EST, the Fatherhood Research and Practice Network (FRPN) will host their third learning community webinar for fatherhood practitioners and researchers. Find more information in this post.

frpn-logo

NFI is committed to helping you help dads. NFI's president Christopher A. Brown serves on the FRPN steering committee and as you may have seen on this blog, we post updates from this research network periodically. 

Here's a quick reminder about theFatherhood Research & Practice Network (FRPN)...

The FRPN seeks to:

  • Promote rigorous evaluation of fatherhood programs.
  • Expand the number of researchers and practitioners collaborating to evaluate these programs.
  • Disseminate information that leads to effective fatherhood practice and evaluation research.

The FRPN will host a webinar called "Engaging Mothers in Fatherhood Programs and Improving Coparenting Among Unmarried Parents" 

Key topics to be discussed in this free webinar will include:

  • Why mother engagement is important for fatherhood programs.
  • Why mothers may be reluctant to participate in fatherhood programs and successful strategies to engage them.
  • Coparenting interventions and curricula.
  • Addressing domestic violence and safety.
  • Current research on coparenting.
  • Relevant outcomes and measurement.
  • Moving the coparenting field forward.
Register for the FRPN Engaging Mothers and Improving Coparenting Among Unmarried Parents webinar here.


The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

How To Fund Your Fatherhood Program

We often get requests from fatherhood leaders looking for funding. We understand you want to do all you can to help fathers and families in your community. We also know organizational budgets are tight and funding can be difficult to secure. Maybe you're looking to secure funding or seeking fresh ideas. In our experience of working with program leaders, we've found several ways to find funds—that leaders often don't think about. Be sure you're taking advantage of what's out there related to funding your fatherhood program.

How_To_Fund_Your_Fatherhood_Program
Funding from Your Own Budget

We know, we know. Your budget is maxed out. But, what doesn't get planned doesn't get done. So, the first and best option to consider is how you can find funding within your own organizational budget.

Consider pulling a small amount of money from a program(s) that are not as successful as expected, or from a budget where, with some shrewd planning, costs could be reduced, and that extra funding be shifted to investing in low-cost fatherhood resources to augment your services. (And, when you have the opportunity to plan budgets for the next fiscal year, be sure to include fatherhood in your planning, and earmark funds for fatherhood skill-building resources, just as you would for other handouts/brochures for other types of clients you serve.)

In case you haven't seen, NFI offers affordable skill-building resources that you can start using in your day-to-day activities with a small budget and little to no staff time. For example, NFI’s brochures ($17.99 for a 50 pack) and pocket guides with tips for dads and new dads ($12.99 for a 5 pack) are easy, low-intensity ways to begin by adding some fatherhood materials to your offerings. Providing materials that are specifically father focused is an easy, budget-friendly way to begin.

If you're eager to start a more robust, high-intensity fatherhood program with funding from your own budget, NFI offers complete fatherhood program kits that allow you to begin your fatherhood program for as little at $600 or less with no formal facilitator training required. This “out-of-the-box” approach means that NFI’s complete program kits come with a facilitator’s manual, CD/DVD, and at least 10 fathering handbooks for your class attendees; all you need to budget for is the ongoing handbook costs (approximately $9 per dad, per class.) No formal training is required for your facilitators because of the easy to follow program format and facilitator tips within the facilitator’s manual. (Note: NFI offers formal curriculum training for facilitators if desired.) Think about whom in your organization could lead a fatherhood group, or seek volunteers to step into this role.

Another programming alternative could be investing in one of NFI’s medium intensity workshops kits that cover a variety of topics. For example, The 7 Habits of a 24/7 Dad® Workshop is an 8-hour workshop you can run for fathers that combines the fundamental fathering principles from National Fatherhood Initiative's 24/7 Dad® programs with FranklinCovey®'s timeless 7 Habits. The 7 Habits program costs as little as $379 to begin, plus the cost of additional handbooks for dads who attend. Or, consider the popular Doctor Dad® Workshops, which allow you to choose from four child health and safety topics to equip dads with practical skills they need to care for their children: The Safe Child, The Injured Child, The Sick Child, and the Well Child. You can simply run one or all four workshops, for as little as $79 per workshops (or get all four for $239 including starter handbooks.)

Whichever level you choose, providing father-specific, skill-building materials at some level is a step in the right direction.

Funding from Outside Sources

Funding from outside sources is an option that your organization may want to pursue – in addition to starting fatherhood work on a smaller scale using funds from your own budget. With some planning you may be able to find an outside funding source that will provide for all aspects of your work with fathers.

From training your fatherhood program facilitators, to providing funding to sustain your program (staff stipends, ongoing fathering handbook costs, and other materials needed to run fatherhood program classes), outside funding could open doors for your fatherhood program you may have never imagined. And, you may be able to serve even more fathers than you ever thought possible.

There are several routes your organization may want to explore in seeking outside funding:

  • Individuals
  • Foundations
  • Corporations
  • Local, State & Federal Government
  • Special Events/Fundraisers

Here are websites you can research funding opportunities. 

Federal Grant Resources

  • Grants.gov > A federal site that aggregates all federal grant opportunities. You can search for grants currently being offered and access grant writing resources.
  • Office of Management & Budget (OMB) Circulars > Provide direction on federal budgeting and expensing for nonprofits, education institutions and state, local and Indian Tribe governments.

Foundation / Grant Funding

  • Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood Grants > With these grants coming to an end, the Administration has proposed a more comprehensive Fatherhood, Marriage and Families Innovation Fund as a successor initiative.
  • Foundation Center > A subscription-based website that offers research on foundations, including family foundations and other tools for grant seekers.
  • Alliance for Nonprofit Excellence > Search for all types of grants.
  • The Grant Station > An online funding resource for organizations seeking grants throughout the world.  Providing access to a comprehensive online database of grant makers, as well as other valuable tools, GrantStation can help your organization make smarter, better-informed fundraising decisions. 
  • The Grantsmanship Center > Offers a variety of training such as The Grantsmanship Training Program, Earned Income Strategies and Competing for Federal Grants.
  • Grassroots Institute for Fundraising Training (GIFT) > Provides a range of training programs and webinars to help you raise money from your community.  Additionally, they offer articles and subscription based services to aid in your fundraising efforts. 

Question > What would you add to this list?
Are there ways you've found funding that could help other fatherhood leaders?

Please note we cover the details of funding your fatherhood program in our Father Engagement Certificate Training. We have five total sessions in our training. The first four sessions cover foundational information, program design, recruitment and retention, and involving moms. In the fifth session we cover...

FEC_training_logoFundraising: How to Develop a Funding Plan for a Fatherhood Program
We help you think through how you will fund your fatherhood program and the importance of a Fund Development Plan. You will learn about the nuances of raising funds from individuals and foundations, as well as how to profile, research, select, and engage different types of funders/funding streams. Thinking through your funding options will help you prepare to launch a successful - and sustainable - fatherhood program.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

3 Rules You're Breaking When Talking with Your Child

I know all you want to talk about is relationships. You want to sit around communicating all day long. Not. Here's the deal though, when we talk about relationships, we could talk about many different things, but the most important topic when it comes to relationships is communication. In our work with dads, we see communication issues play out when it comes to their children and with the wife and/or mom of the children. Communication is often a big issue when it comes to marriage, coparenting, and fatherhood. That said, let's talk about communication...

3 Rules You're Breaking When Talking with Your Child communication relationships

Last time to good luck, let's recall the five traits of the 24/7 Dad:

  1. The 24/7 Dad is Self-Aware: The 24/7 Dad is aware of himself as a man and aware of how important he is to his family. Read more about The Importance of the Self-Aware Father.
  2. The 24/7 Dad Cares For Self: The 24/7 Dad takes care of himself. Read more about The Oxygen Mask Rule of Fatherhood.
  3. The 24/7 Dad Understands Fathering Skills: The 24/7 Dad knows his role in the family. Read more about the 3 Things You Should Do > Because You're Being Watched.
  4. The 24/7 Dad Understands Parenting Skills:  The 24/7 Dad nurtures his children. Read Pretty Much Everything You Should Know to be a Master Nurturer
  5. The 24/7 Dad Understands Relationship Skills: The 24/7 Dad builds and maintains healthy relationships with his children, wife/mother of his children, other family members, friends, and community.

Recall the great news? These five traits have a guarantee: master each of them and you are a 24/7 Dad. Let's talk about trait five, a dad and his relationship skills. Well, let's keep this realistic. We can't fix everything related to relationships in one post. But, we can make progress on communication.

For the last several posts, we've talked about how you, dad, are unique and irreplaceable in your child's life. When it comes to parenting and your relationship to your child and your child's mom, it's no different. 

The 24/7 Dad Understands Relationship Skills.

The 24/7 Dad builds and maintains healthy relationships with his children, wife/mother of his children, other family members, friends, and community. He knows and values how relationships shape his children and their lives. The 24/7 Dad knows how the relationship with his wife/mother of his children affects his children and creates a good relationship with her for the sake of his children. He always looks to improve the skills he uses to communicate with others.

The 24/7 Dad communicates his thoughts, feelings, and actions on a daily basis in a way that respects others. Still, one of the greatest challenges 24/7 Dads face in raising their children is how to better communicate. 

What makes the 24/7 Dad different from other dads is that he understands problems with communication start with him and no one else.

Here are 3 rules to follow for communicating with your child...

Odds are good you didn’t wake up this morning and say to yourself, “You know, I should communicate with my kids better...” While you know the importance of communication, you probably need a reminder every now and then that how you communicate daily is of utmost importance. 

Comparisons are sometimes helpful for tough topics. Let’s try one. Instead of calling this tough topic “communication,” let’s call it “racing.”

Reframe your idea about what communication is and change the word “communication” to “racing.” With racing, there are three rules professional drivers follow that totally apply to talking with your child. 

Rule #1—Know Your Racetrack

How you race depends on the track. Drivers know there are four types of racetracks, and they treat each track differently—mainly because each track requires a different strategy.

Likewise, the age or “track” your child is on should change how you communicate. Consider applying the four different racetracks to the stage of your child as follows:

1) Short tracks > These tracks are shorter than one mile and take a more physical strategy.
 In short-track racing, there’s more bumping of cars. If you’re the dad of a new baby, one of your main strategies should be physical touch. Hold your baby as much as possible. Communicating during this stage in your child’s life is as much about cuddling than it is about talking.

2) Intermediate tracks > These tracks are usually between one and two miles. They’re challenging, but somewhat “routine” in that all of these tracks are made up of four left turns. The dad of a school-aged child understands the importance of establishing daily routines when it comes to connecting with his child. During this time, you’re busy and so is your child. So every moment must count.

3) Superspeedways > These tracks are usually two miles or more. They’re the fastest of all the tracks in professional racing. The dad of a teenager understands just how fast time passes at this stage of his child’s life. Communication during this stage must take on great quality; because often, the fast pace of life as the dad of a teen may seem to reach speeds of over 200 miles per hour.

4) Road Courses > Only the most experienced drivers do well on road courses. As a dad of a college-age child and/or beyond, you will have more “turns” than the other three dads. At this stage, it will be how well you maneuver through the turns that will give you a successful outcome.

Become an expert on the track you are racing for each stage in your child’s life. While you can prepare somewhat for what will happen, you must complete many laps around the track to gain the experience you need for effective communication with your child at any age.

Rule #2—Practice, Practice, Practice. And then Practice Some More.

When drivers aren’t “on the track,” they practice. Their work is about more than that short moment on the racetrack. All of their time leading up to the race is spent on practice.

When is the right time to practice? Early and often. Just like the best drivers raced cars when they were young, you must spend time and talk with your child early and often. 

It’s never too early to talk and listen to your child. Spend time with your child and have a purpose in what you do during your time together. Seize every moment to get practice. 

Rule #3—Make Adjustments

Drivers know success isn’t simply about practice and performing well on the track. The best drivers know the importance of making adjustments. 

Adjustments are crucial in racing. A driver that can’t lead his team to make mid-race adjustments won’t win. Likewise, you will learn to be a dad by trial and error. You will make mistakes. Things will go wrong. Great drivers know the importance of making adjustments, from research and development in the off-season to communicating the necessary adjustments to his team during the race. 

Research and development is the science behind the racing. If you toured a NASCAR research facility, for example, you typically won't see the driver and the car together.

Likewise, you will need to study fatherhood, even if you don’t live with your child. Become a student of fatherhood. Learn from books, articles, magazines, and more experienced dads. 

As a racecar driver, how you race depends on your knowledge and skill of the track, the amount of time you practice, and the amount of effort you use to make adjustments. With the right skills, experience, and practice, you can be successful with any track...err...with any child! 

The 24/7 Dad asks himself: How well do I relate?

New Call-to-action

Please go here to buy the shirt! Then, share pics of yourself or the dad in your life using #247Dad on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

Fatherhood leaders > Wear this unique t-shirt to show how proud you are to be a leader. Give it to dads who attend your program or as a graduation gift.

Dads, Moms, & Children > Wear this shirt to show your passion for fatherhood and inspire those around you to live as responsible fathers. Or, give as a gift to a dad you know.

Question > What does being a 24/7 Dad mean to you?

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

How You and Your Fatherhood Program Can Get Found Online

In my over three years working with fatherhood leaders and programs, I know you. You're well-intentioned and care about people. You're doing great work with great heart. But, you're too busy doing this great work to talk about the great work. You don't have time, staff, or energy to get started online. So you don't...and no one is seeing your great impact. It bothers me that you aren't getting the attention you deserve. 

I don't have all of the answers. But, it seems to me, if you can get a small start with blogging and social media, you and others can quickly start to see the impact you're having on fathers and families. I'm not talking about celebrity stuff here. I want you and your program to be seen. I want folks around you to see what you're doing and I want it to inspire others to help dads. Let's talk about how you, the super busy fatherhood leader, can get started online.

Fatherhood Leader > How You Can Get Started Online > How You and Your Fatherhood Program Can Get Found Online

First, let's talk about the why. Why does "getting found" online matter? Because your work inspires other folks to serve dads. It's also nice for you to show your work to potential investors and/or the people who may attend or volunteer for your program. If you can start blogging and doing social media, you will make more impact in your community. Basically, I want folks to see your work and think of you when they think about fatherhood. You are the authority in your area when it comes to fatherhood and family.

Consider this:

  • Do dads in your community know you as the helpful authority you are? How? How can they contact you right now?

When I get word of a group doing awesome things to serve dads, I usually can't find them through Google search. This is a problem. If I can't find you, and I know about you, how will a dad who needs your help, but doesn't know about you, find you?

Consider your blog like New York City. There are several major highways running through NYC. NYC has three major airports, major bus transportation, two train stations...you get the point.

Conversely, in the small town in Tennessee where I grew up, there's one highway. My hometown is great—unless you're planning on enjoying access to transportation once you visit. There are no airports in my hometown. You can't catch a bus. There isn't a train. I've never seen a cab.

Here's the point: the highways, trains, buses and planes are the things that can bring folks to you. All of the links from other sites, all of the mentions of you and your fatherhood program on social media, that's how folks find you. All of this is what turns your blog into a thing that pulls folks in to your program. There should be lots of ways for folks to find you. The more the better!

Here are two ways you can get started online without a ton of effort and time. 

1) Get Started by Blogging

One of the best ways to get found online is through blogging. Make it so you can post updates easily and on a regular basis. Think weekly rather than daily. Your readers are busy too. But try to create and/or re-purpose content on a regular basis.

There are a few things that most folks recommend when getting started blogging: 

  1. Create your blog with an easy-to-remember name. Don't get too cute. Think long-term and and error on the side of conservative rather than on fads. 
  2. Create helpful content. Stuff that dads in your area care about. What are the dads you serve asking you. Answer those same questions on your fancy new blog.
  3. Read parenting and leadership blogs to fuel your content. 
  4. Be sure to comment on other folks' blogs.

Doing these things should get your blogging off to a great start. See, that wasn't bad was it? Now to tackle social media...

2) Get Started Using Social Media

Can people find you on social media? Do you have a Facebook page? What about other social media platforms like twitter? Consider starting an account on the popular platforms where dads in your area are. Here are a few tried and true tips when it comes to social media.

It all starts with a good profile. There are a few best practices that apply to all social media platforms. Beyond these things, what you do depends on the platform. Here we go...

What to do on most social media platforms:

  1. Pick the right username > 
    • Use your real name when possible.
    • Make your username as simple as possible. Try to stay away from numbers and symbols.
    • Pick a name that’s available on most social sites. Reminder, the goal is to build engagement so folks recognize you
  2. Pick the perfect profile image > this image will show up everywhere.
  3. Write a good bio/summary > don’t skip this step. What can you say to instill confidence with your reader? Consider the folks who you are interested in connecting with. 
  4. Website links > be sure to add your blog or link to social sites when possible

Now that you're armed with this knowledge, you can rock out any of the following social media platforms. You're ready to go, I can feel it...

Getting Started on Facebook

  1. Create a Facebook business page (Here's NFI's Facebook page). Team Dad is great on Facebook. We share their posts a lot. They post graduation pictures. We love seeing fatherhood program graduations.
  2. Post a link to your business page from your personal profile.
  3. Promote your Facebook page within your existing channels (website, blog, email, LinkedIn profile, etc)
  4. Next time you host a local event (like a conference, webinar, and/or training) use Facebook events to invite people. (Consider inviting NFI, that way we know about it!)

Getting Started on LinkedIn

  1. Build a LinkedIn group (and connect with NFI on LinkedIn).
  2. Make sure your linked profile is 100 percent complete.
  3. Search through groups to find ones focused in your area. Don't overdo it on the groups. There's a maximum number you can join. Consider future partnerships in the community at this point.

Gathering Started on Twitter

  1. Create an account (follow NFI's Twitter account).
  2. Start tweeting. Talk about what's going on behind the scenes. 
  3. Follow folks in your network using the search feature in Twitter.
  4. Monitor other fatherhood, leadership and/or parenting accounts and retweet them.

Getting Started on YouTube

  1. Create a channel. (Here's NFI's YouTube account.)
  2. Consider posting your stories: things like "what we do here" and "get to know a staffer" can be helpful
  3. Consider interviewing local people for tips on parenting and the like.
  4. Create and share how-to videos on all things fatherhood.

Question > Are you doing any of these steps online? Where can I find you and your fatherhood program? Post the links to your website/blog and social media accounts in the comments and I'll like them, follow them, and/or connect with them.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Spotlight > TOPS DAD Program in Arizona [Video]

"Any man can be a father, it takes someone special to be a dad." These words have been said for years. But a program in Arizona is living and teaching them to fathers. We're excited to see this group raise up a new generation of great dads. Check them out... 

tops dad program in Arizona fatherhood program

Tucson News Now recently ran a story about this local group who is giving men real advice about being a dad. TOPS DAD Program is all about giving dads the tools and confidence dads need to be involved in their child's life and becoming the dad they want to be. 

Watch the video below and you'll find a group of dads who understand that becoming a dad is way more than providing with a wallet—it's about being available and present. They call it "The Dad Factor". It means each and every dad has a unique and special gift they bring to raising a child. The group brings this ability out in dads by providing peer support, whether is one-on-one or with a facilitator, and with group settings.

The group knows from experience that getting together to talk with other men is vital because the men learn other ways of doing things. Dads can ask other men about parenting. What a novel idea, right? Get men in a room and get them talking about what it's like to be a dad. We couldn't be more happy about the TOPS DAD Program and what they are doing for Arizona dads. 


Here are details about the TOPS DAD program. 

Teen Outreach Pregnancy Services offers two courses for dads under the TOPS DAD Program. They help every dad from expecting fathers in their teens to fathers in their 40's. 

  • for men under 21, a free program with services that include C-P-R certification, car seat education and support groups.
  • for dads that are 21 and over, a free, onetime workshop for men only. First-time dads learn topics like parental teamwork, handling, and changing a baby and the role of a father in the family.

The group uses our 24/7 Dad® Program, our 12-week program that teaches dads everything from communication and co-parenting strategies, to tips on connecting with their child and how to discipline.

TOPS DAD Program's mission is:

At TOPS, our mission is to create healthy outcomes for children, their families, and the community. Through our TOPS DAD program, we work with fathers of all ages in Maricopa and Pima counties to be involved in their child's life and raise healthy children by instilling the Dad Factor. The Dad Factor means each and every dad has a unique and special gift that they bring to raising their child. Our program, through peer support and one-on-one facilitation, helps to bring that out so that every father can become the dad they want to be.

Learn more about TOPS DAD Program.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Pretty Much Everything You Need to Know to Be a Master Nurturer

What? Being a "Master Nurturer" not on your bucket list? It should be. Let's talk about it...

the_opportunity_costs_of_father_absence-1

Just to keep everything on track, let's recall the five traits of the 24/7 Dad. Here's the quick rundown:

  1. The 24/7 Dad is Self-Aware: The 24/7 Dad is aware of himself as a man and aware of how important he is to his family. Read more about The Importance of the Self-Aware Father.
  2. The 24/7 Dad Cares For Self: The 24/7 Dad takes care of himself. Read more about The Oxygen Mask Rule of Fatherhood.
  3. The 24/7 Dad Understands Fathering Skills: The 24/7 Dad knows his role in the family. Read more about the 3 Things You Should Do > Because You're Being Watched.
  4. The 24/7 Dad Understands Parenting Skills:  The 24/7 Dad nurtures his children.
  5. The 24/7 Dad Understands Relationship Skills: The 24/7 Dad builds and maintains healthy relationships with his children, wife/mother of his children, other family members, friends, and community.

Here's the great news...these five traits have a guarantee: master each of them and you are a 24/7 Dad. Let's talk about trait four, a dad and his nurturing. Remember, we've been talking about how you, as dad, are unique and irreplaceable in your child's life. When it comes to parenting and your relationship as a caring nurturer to your child, it's no different. We often say here at NFI a good dad does three things well: provides, nurtures, and guides. Let's talk about how we can do all three better. 

The 24/7 Dad Understands Parenting Skills

The 24/7 Dad nurtures his children. Yes, nurturing is not just for mom. You should know how your parenting skills help to develop your child's physical, emotional, intellectual, and social needs. Your child trusts and feels safe with you because you care about and nurture through the use of proven parenting skills. Basically, you should be a Master Nurturer. 

There are four ways every dad should interact with his child. If you do these four things, you'll be the dad who shows his thoughts, feelings, and actions on a daily basis in a way that respects folks.

1. The Master Nurturer Encourages His Child.

Don't rush passed this first point. It sounds simple, right. I bet you're saying to yourself sarcastically, "Oh, Ryan is telling us to encourage our kids, great. Thanks for the tip, Ryan. Great, helpful stuff!" Well, stop being sarcastic, it's ugly and rude! Also, please understand why I mention it. Kids often send themselves negative messages. Who doesn't?!

As your child ages, he or she may learn to think and say things like they’re no good, they’re not smart, they’re too short or too tall. They hear these messages from friends, from parents, and pick them up from watching TV, online, did we say friends and TV yet?

Teach your child to send good messages, such as “I’m smart,” “I’m going to do well on this test,” “I can become anything I want to become.” This is a skill that will last a lifetime. Odds are good that if you are doing this for yourself—it will come out in your words to your children. So get yourself in front of a mirror alla Stuart Smalley if you must and tell yourself: "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."

2. The Master Nurturer Listens to His Child.

Kids are by nature the most impatient human beings alive—rivaled only by teens—or so I hear. Kids want things or want to do things the exact moment it enters their minds. My beautiful and precious daughters will ask for a cup of milk and wonder why the cup of milk doesn't appear in their hands as they are making the request for said milk.

Kids don’t like to wait. Depending on the age of your child, you can try telling him or her that you hear what they want and that you know it’s important to them. Saying, "I hear ya, you want milk. Awesome. I'll get you that delicious milk shortly. But right this second, I'm busy writing a blog post that's way more important than your cup of milk. If I can't write this post, then daddy doesn't get paid. If daddy doesn't get paid, you don't enjoy sipping delicious milk." Okay, perhaps I derailed here.

My point is, saying that you hear your child's request honors him or her. It shows that you're listening. This doesn’t mean that you give in to their every wish, only that you hear them. Check in to make sure you know what they want and then respond. Hearing what they want will “soften the blow” in case you need to tell them they can’t have it, can't do the thing they want, or that they’ll have to wait longer for what they want.

3. The Master Nurturer Avoids Negative Labels.

This point is a tough one. It takes looking inside yourself. Don’t give your child a bad label based on what they want, say, or do. Dads often label what they want, say, or do as bad, lazy, dumb, and crazy. Worse, dads may label their children as bad, lazy, dumb, and spoiled to describe their children as a whole. Bad labels only create more of what you don’t want to see.

When your children want, say, or do something you don’t agree with, don’t put a label on it. Here's an example of what not to say, “That’s dumb to want a bike right now.” Instead say, “I understand you want a bike right now. Bikes are awesome. Your dad loves bikes. Let's try and get you a bike in a few weeks. There are some things a rider of bikes must do in order to get a bike.” Hear the difference? Good labels will create more of what you want to see. Labels such as good, smart, special, and caring will go a long way to helping you and your child enjoy your talks.

4. The Master Nurturer Focuses on Teaching His Child.

This step isn’t as easy either. We can tear down our children after our children do something wrong; or, we can point out what our children did wrong again and again without saying what our children did correctly.

This approach doesn’t help your child learn from his or her mistakes. If you don't point out the good a child does, the child will most likely only hear the bad labels instead of seeing the lessons. When your child does something wrong, ask, “What did you learn?” or “What should you do differently the next time?” If your child doesn't see the lesson, point it out, but only after you given ample time for your child to express what he or she learned. This approach honors your child and makes it more likely your child will listen to you. Besides, you might be surprised at how much your child will learn from his own mistake. Use this tip not only when your child does something wrong, use it when they do something right.

The 24/7 Dad asks himself: How well do I “Parent"?

Our friend Kevin of Double Trouble Daddy knows what being a 24/7 Dad means. He wrote a post on caring for his twins here. Kevin gets 24/7 dadding. I encourage you to read the full post, but here's part of it. He writes: 

What you don’t realize about me is that I’ve been changing my sons’ diapers since before they even came home from the NICU. I’m a stay-at-home father and proud of it. I’m downstairs drinking coffee before they even open their eyes in the morning, and I am listening to them on the baby-monitor roll around mid-dream long after they’ve gone to bed. I’m a dad twenty-four hours per day, seven days a week. There’s a lot of us out there….more than you realize. I’m not just talking about stay-at-home fathers…I also mean working dads as well. Dads are more involved in their children’s lives than ever before and it’s awesome to see and be part of. The days when the only role we played in the family dynamic was that of the breadwinner are over.  


*****

New Call-to-action

Please go here to buy the shirt! Then, share pics of yourself or the dad in your life using #247Dad on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

Fatherhood leaders > Wear this unique t-shirt to show how proud you are to be a leader. Give it to dads who attend your program or as a graduation gift.

Dads, Moms, & Children > Wear this shirt to show your passion for fatherhood and inspire those around you to live as responsible fathers. Or, give as a gift to a dad you know.

Question > What does being a 24/7 Dad mean to you?

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Spotlight > The Ohio Commission on Fatherhood [Video]

Several groups in Ohio are doing amazing work to connect fathers and families, and we think you should know about them. The following post and video describe the exciting, state-wide work being done by the Ohio Commission on Fatherhood.

Keep reading to be inspired by Ohio. You could do something similar for fathers (and children) in your state or county.

testfatherhoodlogo

The Ohio Commission on Fatherhood is a state-wide commission housed within the Ohio Department of Job & Family Services. Their mission is to enhance the well-being of Ohio's children by providing opportunities for fathers to become better parents, partners and providers.

As the lead agency for the Commission, they offer training and guidance to help county organizations design programs to engage fathers and promote responsible parenting. This gives organizations across the state a solid support system for intentionally offering programs and services for fathers.

In fact, the groups you see on this video came together because Ohio brought in NFI to conduct our Community Engagement and Mobilization Planning Approach, helping to rally Ohio state organizations around fatherhood in a cohesive way. In the video you'll see NFI's very own Erik Vecere facilitating the planning sessions.

View the full video here.

What is the goal of the Ohio County Fatherhood Initiative? 

"We believe we can raise the level of father involvement, creating opportunities to train fathers so they can be engage in employment." —Burl Lemon, Executive Director “Forever Dad” Muskingum County

“One of the biggest things is community mapping and being able to get some insight in terms of how our county is laid out, what the initiatives that already exist in our county are, so that we are not reinventing the wheel, and actually be able to map out where the different agencies are, community partners, and who our key stakeholders are in our county to be able to launch this initiative." —Ann Ream, Director of Protective Services, Summit County Children Services

Why participate in the Ohio County Fatherhood Initiative?

“Weve allowed fathers to take a back seat and I think what this will do will heighten the awareness of the tremendous value that a father plays in a child's life. And because of that, our communities are betterour countrys better." —Kelly Lynch, Executive Director, Guernsey County Children’s Service

"On a bigger level, its been able to connect me as a stakeholder with childrens services, with our county leadership, and to know that this is an initiative that is important on both the local and state and federal level and what a concern it is a problem I think we all own…but the solution we can all own as well.” —Ann Ream, Director of Protective Services, Summit County Children Services

“When you help a dad, youre really helping out the whole family. Its not just a moms versus dads thing. If you help the dad get his act together, then he can be a better father and then also be a little bit more cooperative with the mother, so it helps everybody. —Michael Newsom, Social Program Coordinator, Montgomery County

Would you recommend other counties to participate? 

“I would recommend this training to others. Its unfortunate that everybody cant be a part of this. So Im very fortunate to be a part of todays session here. I think its important to know how to mobilize one another in your community and at a state level too." —Ann Ream, Director of Protective Services, Summit County Children Services

I think it would be a good program for business leaders. I think it would be a good program for civic leaders and government officials. I think it would be an excellent for service providers and a cross-spectrum of people who are working with families.” —James McDonald, Director of Muskingum Counseling Center

Interested in mobilizing your community? Visit here for more information on bringing responsible fatherhood training to life in your community. Read more about how we work with state/county initiatives here

Tell us > What would you like to see your county or state do for fathers?

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

How Mass Media Portray Dads & What You Can Do About It

It's easy to complain about the negative fatherhood stereotypes that mass media often portrays. But, rarely do I see the depth of information and application of research into practical tips for leaders than what can be found in the following article from NFI's president, Christopher A. Brown.

Brown recently wrote a fasinating article titled, "Americans' View of Fathers' Competency as Parents Through a Mass Media Lens" at the request of Zero to Three Journal. Chris has over a decade of experience working with fathers at NFI, and in this article you can see his gift of applying science and research to explain culture and help individuals and organizations encourage more involved fathers. Let's talk about it...

view-of-fatherhood-mass-media

Brown's article was written to raises awareness among professionals in the field of infant mental health. But, you will no doubt see this information can be used by a much wider audience. Brown points out from the research that TV is still one of the major forms of mass media shaping our values and perceptions, from sitcoms to advertising and commercials.

He reveals some telling stats on America's use of TV, particularly: 

  • Nearly every home (97%) has at least one TV
  • The average home contains nearly 3 TVs.
  • Americans watch TV 3-5 hours a day.
  • Adults watch nearly 38% more TV than children.

The Fatherhood Image in TV and Advertising
From Jim Anderson in Father Knows Best to Al Bundy in Married...With Children and Jay Pritchett of Modern Family, TV dads are usually portrayed as foolish, no matter what race or socioeconomic status is depicted.

The portrayal of fathers in commercials and advertising play a huge role in how we see fathers. Studies show commercials rarely portray men as nurturers. Brown points out one study found "when fathers were included in commercials, none of them were portrayed as nurturers whereas half of mothers were portrayed as nurturers (Gentry & Harrison, 2010)." 

Brown says that fathers are still often portrayed by consumer brands as one extreme or the other. On the one side fathers are shown as incompetent, foolish, and emotionally disconnected as parents. "The double standard involves competent, wise, emotionally connected mothers who must often rescue those fathers," says Brown. He cites Lowe's and LG for his research

But thankfully, there's the other extreme. Brands who show dads as competent, nurturing, and emotionally healthy parents. Brown cites General Mills Canada and Toyota as two such brands. General Mills' #HowToDad and Toyota's 2015 Super Bowl campaign "One Bold Choice Leads to Another" campaign promoted positive fatherhood images. The General Mills and Toyota campaigns show the reality of parenting today. As Chris points out: 

"The influence of parents as partners in raising children is all aspects of domestic life has continued to grow. Fathers have taken on a steadily increasing share of the parenting load in recent decades (USA Today, 2013). Fathers spend more time than ever with their children generally, grocery and retail shopping for the family, and doing housework (e.g., cooking and cleaning). Fathers are also more focused than ever on the desire to balance work and family. Indeed, they're often more conflicted than mothers in this regard (Aumann, Galinsky, & Matos, 2011)."

Why is Fathers' Portrayal Important?
Research is clear that a child needs the presence and involvement of his/her father. We know that kids who grow up with involved fathers are better off across all physical, emotional, mental, and social outcomes than a child who grows up without his/her father. So, we can deduct that fathers' involvement is as least as important as mothers' involvement to the healthy development of the child. 

Sadly, parents and professionals are often not aware of this evidence, and so their views aren't informed and shaped by this education. If mass media is getting fatherhood wrong, what about parents and professionals who've had negative experiences with their fathers/husbands/partners of their own children?

This kind of negative slide is what Chris says can lead to the "ultimate detriment of children and families." He says:

"When professionals hold a negative view of fathers, they are reluctant to engage fathers and may unwittingly support negative maternal views of fathers by not encouraging the mothers to involve fathers. Professionals also reinforce fathers' negative view of themselves by not proactively engaging fathers to show them they can be good parents."

What You Can Do?
Brown writes more in depth in his article about how we view fathers and how that view effects us. But he doesn't stop there. He closes his article with helpful ideas of what professionals (like you!) can do to counteract the negative portrayals of fathers.

Remember, this is all about the well-being of children. So, the message that dad can be competent and involved only helps the cause -- it does not hurt. If you are a professional (educator or not) you have a special role in shaping the view of fathers' competency. 

From TV portrayals, to mass media advertising, and even digital and social media, seeking to counteract whatever bad or negative portrayals you've seen from dads in your life is important—for you and for those around you.

The following list will prove helpful in seeking to view fatherhood as you should—as important and vital to children. The following tips can be found in more detail in the full article here:

  • Identify whether parents have a positive or negative view of fathers' competency and potential competency. Brown suggests asking non-threatening, open-ended questions to identify the parent's view of the father and fathers in general.
  • Identify whether the TV shows and advertising parents watch support or don't support a positive view of fathers' competency. Ask parents about the ways in which fathers are portrayed in the TV shows and advertising parents watch. Ask whether those portrayals are realistic and how they support or don't support parents' view of fathers competency.
  • Encourage parents to watch TV shows that portray fathers as competent, nurturing parents. Make a list of TV shows to watch. Identify shows that portray fathers as competent and nurturing. It's fine if the father struggles in his role as long as he is competent and nurturing. You can also look for shows that include a healthy relationship between the father and mother, even if the parents aren't together. 
  • Encourage parents to pay attention to the TV shows their children watch and how those shows portray fathers. Children's shows can contain negative portrayals of fathers. These shows shape children's views of fathers in general. They can also reinforce a negative view a child might have of his own father, especially if the child's mother talks negatively about the father to or in front of the child. Encourage parents to talk with their children about the portrayals of fathers in the shows their children watch. Tell parents to expose their children to shows with positive portrayals and even to watch those shows together. 
  • Engage fathers right from the start. There are a number of ways professionals can engage fathers from their very first encounter with clients. Simple acts like including information on program intake forms that capture the father's information and more involved acts like requiring the father's presence (when feasible) at initial and subsequent parent engagements (e.g., home visits) send an important message—the father is important and valuable.
  • Provide parents with access to information, such as literature (e.g., brochures and guides) and websites, which discuss the importance of father involvement in children's lives or provide advice on how fathers can become more involved generally and in specific areas of children's lives (e.g., education and sports). Professionals should ensure that the sources of information are appropriate for a parent's literacy level and informed by research.
  • Conduct programs or workshops for fathers on father involvement or refer fathers to organizations that provide such programs or workshops. Increasing father involvement doesn't happen overnight. Some fathers need training on how to be a better father. There are fathering programs that last several months and workshops that last a day to a few days. Ensure that the programs and workshops are based on or informed by evidence on what works to increase father involvement. 
  • Provide literature or conduct programs or workshops for mothers on improving the relationships they have with the fathers of their children. Maternal gatekeeping is when a mother can inhibit a father's access to his child. A mother can do so consciously or unconsciously whether she and the father are married, cohabitating, or never married. There are resources, programs, and workshops that seek to address maternal gatekeeping by raising mothers' awareness of this phenomenon and encouraging mothers to loosen unnecessary restrictions on fathers' access to their children.
  • Assess the "father readiness" of professionals' organizations and implement strategies and tactics to increase father readiness. Professionals rarely practice in a vacuum. They are usually part of an organization that is dedicated to or has a focus on infant mental health (or another specific area) and work with parents. The culture and practices of an organization influence the professional's work with parents. An organization that believes, for example, in the value of fathers will encourage a professional to engage fathers and, hopefully, provide resources (e.g., funds and training) to help the professional with that task. An organization that doesn't value fathers will erect barriers to a professional's attempts to engage fathers. Tools exists that help professionals—indeed, entire organizations—assess an organization's willingness and readiness to engage fathers and create no-cost and low-cost strategies and tactics to increase father readiness (see NFI's Father Friendly Checkup). 

The culture and mass media messages we see daily create a challenging atmosphere in which to engage fathers and create a culture where father involvement is important. Digital and social media increase this challenge. Whether you are combating negative portrayals of fatherhood in media, in your place of work, or in your own family, you can be a positive impact on a child. You can send a powerful message about the importance of fathers to the well-being of children in your life. Whether you've seen a great dad or not—you no doubt understand that creating more dads who are involved is a vital mission.

Please read our president, Christopher A. Brown's, full article by downloading the PDF here. It's only available for only a limited time.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic]

NFI stretches your dollars through our capacity-building approach.

Every child deserves a 24/7 Dad. From free fatherhood resources to fatherhood products, programs and trainings, your donation supports our mission.

In fact, our free fatherhood resources now out number the products and resources we sell in our store. Today, we have 105 free resources that can be downloaded, read, watched, and reviewed. For instance, our free resource The Ultimate Guide to Connecting with Your Child has been downloaded almost 5,000 times! That's 5,000 fathers that are now armed with questions they can ask their child to generate meaningful conversations.

Just as we exist to create more involved dads, we serve fatherhood programs and organizations. Your donation also helps us create free resources for fatherhood leaders and organizations. Basically, you can think of us as a Cisco Systems or IBM of the family-strengthening arena. Just like IBM helps other businesses and governments build their technology infrastructures, we help other organizations and governments build their family-strengthening infrastructures.

Let's look at the problem of father absence, what NFI does to remedy this problem, and just how much your support truly matters...

How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org

The Root

How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org

One out of three American children live without their dad. That’s 24 million children, enough to populate New York City three times! These children are in every community, including your own. You can help these children by ensuring your dollars have maximum impact on child well-being.

How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org new york city nyc

NFI Connects Fathers and Children

How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org

  • We are the go-to source for thousands of organizations to obtain effective fatherhood training, programs, and other resources.
  • We are a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization relying on contributions from individuals and foundations to improve child well-being and prevent father absence.
  • NFI builds the capacities of those organizations to offer programs and services for dads, moms, and families.

NFI's Partners Include:

6-military-icon How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org
Military > 
All branches of the U.S. Military, National Guard, and Reserve Units

 

corrections prison jail How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.orgCorrections > State, county, and private prisons/jails; Federal Bureau of Prisons; and state, county, and local reentry programs.

 

8-agency-icon How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org state local county government agency

State and Local/County Agencies > Health and Human Services; maternal and child health and welfare programs; and child abuse prevention organizations.

 

9-community-based-icon How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.orgCommunity-Based Organizations > Community action agencies; head start and healthy start programs; grassroots fatherhood and family service organizations; and schools.

We track our success and impact through: U.S. Census data; program and project evaluations; number of resources distributed and organizations trained; and case studies, stories of impact and testimonials.

NFI’s Impact:

More than 7 Million NFI RESOURCES have been distributed to dads and momsNFI programs are used in all 50 states, Washington D.C, and U.S. Territories. 

NFI has trained more than…

  • 6,300 Organizations In-Person
  • 14,100 Staff In-Person
  • 15,000 Staff Online
10-NFI-impact-7-million How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org

 

A child raised with a dad is:

  • 4X less likely to live in poverty
  • 2X more likely to graduate high school
  • 7X less likely to become or get someone pregnant as a teen
  • 2X less likely to have emotional or behavioral problems
  • 7X less likely to be incarcerated as an adult
11-child-raised-with-dad-image stats fatherless home stats research How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org

NFI stretches your dollar through our national network that reaches into your backyard.

Fathers matter. Your support matters.

Begin making a difference for children everywhere. 
Donate today. Visit fatherhood.org/donate

12-NFI-donate-today-cta How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org

Click here or anywhere on the infographic to enlarge, download or share.

Stretch-Your-Dollars-For-Children-with-NFI How to Stretch Your Dollars for Children [Infographic] donate to fatherhood.org

***

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Happy Father's Day, from The Drac Pack and NFI! (Hotel Transylvania 2 Official Trailer)

It’s time to celebrate the man who always knows just what to say...Happy Father's Day from Hotel Transylvania 2This Fall, see what happens when "Vampa Drac" calls in his dad Vlad for backup! Check out the brand new trailer to see Drac, Johnny, Mavis, Dennis and all your favorite monsters on a whole new human-monster adventure!

hotelt2cover

About Hotel Transylvania 2

The Drac pack is back for an all-new monster comedy adventure in Sony Pictures Animation's Hotel Transylvania 2!

Everything seems to be changing for the better at Hotel Transylvania... Dracula’s rigid monster-only hotel policy has finally relaxed, opening up its doors to human guests.

But behind closed coffins, Drac is worried that his adorable half-human, half-vampire grandson, Dennis, isn’t showing signs of being a vampire. So while Mavis is busy visiting her human in-laws with Johnny – and in for a major cultural shock of her own – “Vampa” Drac enlists his friends Frank, Murray, Wayne and Griffin to put Dennis through a “monster-in-training” boot camp.

But little do they know that Drac’s grumpy and very old, old, old school dad Vlad is about to pay a family visit to the hotel. And when Vlad finds out that his great-grandson is not a pure blood – and humans are now welcome at Hotel Transylvania – things are going to get batty!

Hotel Transylvania 2 in theaters September 25th!

Get a Sneak Peek of Hotel Transylvania 2!

Watch the official trailer for Hotel Transylvania 2.

 

Follow Hotel Transylvania 2

Find more information at www.HotelTMovie.com

 

Cast of Hotel Transylvania 2 

 

  • Adam Sandler (Dracula)
  • Andy Samberg (Johnny)
  • Selena Gomez (Mavis)
  • Kevin James (Frank)
  • Fran Drescher (Eunice)
  • Steve Buscemi (Wayne)
  • Molly Shannon (Wanda)
  • David Spade (Griffin)
  • Keegan-Michael Key (Murray)
  • and Mel Brooks (Vlad)

This film is not yet rated by the Motion Picture Association of America. For future rating information, please visit www.filmratings.com.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

3 Things You Should Do > Because You're Being Watched

I know. Creepy title right? It's true though, if you're a dad, you're being watched! Great news, huh? Maybe you recall, years ago, Charles Barkley said, "I am not a role model." Guess what, he is and so are you, whether you want to be or not. At NFI, we often say "a father plays a unique and irreplaceable role in his child's life." What does that mean? What's so unique and irreplaceable about you, dad? I'm here to tell you, in case no one else does, that you are unique and irreplaceable. And being unique and irreplaceable is a great responsibility. And with great responsibility comes great sacrifice...

role-model-fodada

Do you recall the five traits of the 24/7 Dad? Just in case, here's the recap:

  1. The 24/7 Dad is Self-Aware: The 24/7 Dad is aware of himself as a man and aware of how important he is to his family. Read more about The Importance of the Self-Aware Father.
  2. The 24/7 Dad Cares For Self: The 24/7 Dad takes care of himself. Read more about The Oxygen Mask Rule of Fatherhood.
  3. The 24/7 Dad Understands Fathering Skills: The 24/7 Dad knows his role in the family. 
  4. The 24/7 Dad Understands Parenting Skills:  The 24/7 Dad nurtures his children.
  5. The 24/7 Dad Understands Relationship Skills: The 24/7 Dad builds and maintains healthy relationships with his children, wife/mother of his children, other family members, friends, and community.

We're unpacking each of these traits. We started with The Importance of the Self-Aware Father. Last time we talked about The Oxygen Mask Rule of Fatherhood and how a dad must take care of himself if he wants to take care of others. Here's the great news...these five traits have a guarantee: master each of them and you are a 24/7 Dad. Let's talk about trait three, a dad and his role in the family.

The 24/7 Dad Understands Fathering Skills

The 24/7 Dad knows his role in the family. He knows he is a model for his sons on how to be a good man/father and for his daughters on what they should look for in a husband and father for their children.

He knows he should be involved in the daily life of his children; from waking them in the morning to attending parent-teacher conferences, helping with homework, and tucking them in bed at night.

Consider some tasks in your home:

  • Who dresses the kids?
  • Who gets them ready for school?
  • Who packs lunch?
  • Who cooks dinner every night?
  • Who attends parent-teacher conferences and other events?
  • Who volunteers at school?
  • Who supports their sports and other interests/activities?
  • Who helps with homework?
  • Who reads to them (or with them depending on the age!)?
  • Who tucks them in at night?

Of course the daily schedules of work factor into this equation; however, if your answer to EVERY one of these questions on a DAILY basis is “mom,” then we have a problem. Being dad isn't a license to provide a paycheck and sit down. We say in our fatherhood training programs that a 24/7 Dad "uses his knowledge of the unique skills he and his wife/the mother of his children brings to raising his children." Either we live like dad makes a difference or we don't. But, the truth is, whether you're a good dad or a bad dad, you are making a difference—for good or ill. You are modeling something to your child every moment.

Said a different way, if you weren’t in the family, would anyone notice based on the daily initiative you take? Okay, I'm done with my rant. There is hope. After all, it's Father's Day week and we are about the business of raising up and encouraging fathers to step up to the plate.  

Here are three things to encourage you in your role as leader in your family. You are vital. Now, go live like it!

1. Know Your Child's Interests.
As a dad, and I know more than anyone, it's easy to get wrapped up in your own interests and not consider others' interests. But we're done with that old life, right? Say you have a daughter who likes American Girl dolls? Well, you think American Girl dolls are stupied. This is a conundrum. But not anymore, now that you're a 24/7 Dad, you care about American Girl stuff. Stick with me here. You're now the resident American Girl expert in the room. You know the difference between Addy and Josefina because your daughter does. Don't ask me how I know this.

What's that? You have a son and the American Girl example doesn't resonate with you? Does he play with Lego's? Well, you're a master builder. End of story. Everything is awesome in your house because YOU are your child's dad!

Ask your children about their favorite things. Need help? We created The Ultimate Guide for Connecting with Your Child for this exact purpose. Be intentional about creating daily time, maybe at dinner, to let your kids not only talk about their favorite things but come up with a list of things they would enjoy doing.

Set a reminder on your phone if you have to, we have the 24/7 Dad® To Go app for that you know, but be sure to have unhurried time to connect with your child. This doesn't have to be a long time. I sometimes have a day or so where it's just me and the kids. But in most cases, I don't have hours to devote daily to staring into my daughters' eyes. But, daily, if even for a few minutes, there should be time to listen and let them know you value them.

2. Know Your Schedule.  
Consider stopping unnecessary routines and starting better ones. The point here is to reflect on your daily or weekly routine and see where changes can be made. Are you constantly working late? Is there something you can change during the day to get home earlier? I know this is a simple example. But the point here is to stop and think about how you can best manage your time.

Do you have enough energy for the day? If not, consider steps to feel better. You shouldn't always feel tired or hurried. The folks I know who are constantly "too busy" are usually the folks who are doing the least during a day because they aren't in control of their day. It's a difficult balance and some days are better than others. But, you can learn to better manage your schedule so you don't carry around regrets.  

3. Know Your Family's Schedule. 
I tend to realize there's an event on the evening of said event. And it's not because I haven't been told about it. It's because I was told months ago and didn't add it to my calendar and have since forgotten about it. As a leader in your home, create appointments with yourself on your calendar to remind you about checking in periodically. It's too easy to get busy and often consider EVERYTHING as IMPORTANT when in reality, not everything is important.

We need to be clear about our roles in the family if we are going to live together in peaceful harmony as a family. The wife and child must understand dad's role and the dad must understand his worth and how he is "unique and irreplaceable." Show me a man who understands his role in the family and I'll show you a father who carries himself with a higher purpose. I'll show you a 24/7 Dad. Basically, the 24/7 Dad lives like someone is watching...because someone is.

The 24/7 Dad asks himself: How well do I “Father?” 

My friend Don Jackson knows what being a 24/7 Dad means. He wrote Being a 24/7 Dad over at his blog Daddy Newbie. Don gets dadding—all of it: 

Don't get me wrong...my son can be trying at times, but it is all part of the total package. If all I had were days when he listened, when I didn't have to repeat myself 100 times, when he didn't try to push the limits fo what he can and can't do, where he took naps and was never cranky, when he didn't spill something right after I told him to be careful, when he didn't change his mind 43 times from the frig to the table on what he wanted for a snack-all of these things are what, to me, make being a dad 24/7 so great...we need to be reminded that being a dad isn't always puppy dogs and mud puddles. I love that it keeps me on my toes, making me bob and weave.  


You can read Don's full post Being a 24/7 Dad and be sure to like him on Facebook.


*****

New Call-to-action

Please go here to buy the shirt! Then, share pics of yourself or the dad in your life using #247Dad on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

Fatherhood leaders > Wear this unique t-shirt to show how proud you are to be a leader. Give it to dads who attend your program or as a graduation gift.

Dads, Moms, & Children > Wear this shirt to show your passion for fatherhood and inspire those around you to live as responsible fathers. Or, give as a gift to a dad you know.

Question > What's being a 24/7 Dad mean to you?

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Dads Graduate Fatherhood Pilot Program in McNairy Co Jail, Selmer, Tenn [Video]

It's that time of year, the time for graduation speeches and shaking hands for a job well done. As students across the nation are receiving certificates for their accomplishments, here are gentlemen getting a different certificate for walking the line. Reporting from Selmer, Tennessee, ABC WBBJ Eye Witness News 7 Journalist Katie Shambo shows a graduate program of a different kind—but filled with even more sense of accomplishment and purpose.

tenn_dads_graduate_in_jail

You can read the original post Dads Graduate from Pilot Program in McNairy Co Jail. Coverage and excerpts from the original story follows in this post.

It's Wednesday morning, and the McNairy County Jail is holding its first graduation for its fatherhood pilot program. "The sheriff said that I don't have to come back and that really stuck with me," inmate and InsideOut Dad® graduate Joseph Lands, says. Shambo reports, Lands has been working toward this day since September.

"The sheriff said that I don't have
to come back and that really stuck with me."
—Joseph Lands (InsideOut Dad® graduate)


"It means the world. I mean without a second chance we'd be dead in the water we wouldn't have a leg to stand on and this gives us an opportunity to be a better person to be a productive member of society," says Land.

Shambo says Lands is one of five inmates who make up the McNairy County Jail's first graduating class of the Inside Out Dad® program. As NFI readers know, the program was established to help incarcerated fathers with fatherhood and parenting skills along with other resources and opportunities that will help them when they're released.

"It's a curriculum to help them be better fathers, to help them be better husbands, to help them be better leaders of their families and be better in the workforce," director Jimmy Bell said. Each year 700,000 people are released from jails and prisons and within three years more than two-thirds of them are back behind bars.

"It's a curriculum [InsideOut Dad®]
to help them be better fathers,
to help them be better husbands,
to help them be better leaders of their families
and be better in the workforce."
—Jimmy Bell, 
Director


For some, jail is a time to rethink, refocus and make the necessary steps not to re-offend and that's what the Inside Out Dad® program is designed to do. "Knowing that people care it helps out a lot. I mean it makes you want to strive to be a better person it's a good thing," Lands said.

Shambo points out that Lands has a 10-year-old daughter. Lands has been in and out of jail six times, but with his new skills and resources, "this will be my last," he says.

Director Jimmy Bell says that "in addition to helping the men be better dads they are now prepared to support their families." "They all have a resume now," says Bell, "They also now have a desire to leave a life of crime behind."

"They all have a resume now...
they also now have a desire
to leave a life of crime behind."
—Jimmy Bell, Director


Shambo reports 
The Southwest Human Resource Agency plans to implement the program in seven more West Tennessee County jails by July 1. In McNairy County, they will also begin a similar program for women in July.

Watch the video that follows about the first fatherhood program in McNairy County, Selmer, Tennessee. Learn about how these men are set to walk a different path—a path leading back to their families. Make no mistake about it, there may not be institutional columns or caps and gowns in this video, but among the prison bars and orange jail suits, these men are no longer called by their inmate number. They are called by their new names...24/7 Dads.


Can't view the video? Watch the full video and interview about the Inside Out Dad® Program in this Tennessee Pilot Program here.

Visit us for more information on the Inside Out Dad® Program or register for our upcoming webinar training for InsideOut Dad® happening June 25th. Get the official 24/7 Dad® t-shirt for you or the group you lead here

New Call-to-action

***

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

The Oxygen Mask Rule of Fatherhood

"Seatbacks and tray tables should be in their upright and locked position and carry-on luggage stowed in the overhead locker or underneath a seat prior to takeoff." You've no doubt heard this announcement if you've taken a flight. But before this, and hopefully you haven't missed it, is the oxygen mask rule of flight safety. 

This rule applies to fatherhood too. No, we're not talking about the dad who's only out for number one. We're talking about being a dad who's ready to serve his family because his needs are met. Let's unpack this rule a little more... 

oxygen_mask

Maybe you didn't pay attention on your last flight, the typical safety instructions for the oxygen mask go like so... 

  • Oxygen Mask Rule #1 > the passenger should always fit his or her own mask before helping children, the disabled, or persons requiring assistance. (Read: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. THEN YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HELP OTHERS.)
  • Oxygen Mask Rule #2 > Even though oxygen will be flowing to the mask, the plastic bag may not inflate. (Read: KEEP TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING.)

Let’s get reacquainted with the five traits of the 24/7 Dad:

  1. The 24/7 Dad is Self-Aware: The 24/7 Dad is aware of himself as a man and aware of how important he is to his family. Read more about The Importance of the Self-Aware Father.
  2. The 24/7 Dad Cares For Self: The 24/7 Dad takes care of himself.
  3. The 24/7 Dad Understands Fathering Skills: The 24/7 Dad knows his role in the family. 
  4. The 24/7 Dad Understands Parenting Skills:  The 24/7 Dad nurtures his children.
  5. The 24/7 Dad Understands Relationship Skills: The 24/7 Dad builds and maintains healthy relationships with his children, wife/mother of his children, other family members, friends, and community.

When I say "24/7 Dad" I'm talking about an involved, responsible and committed father. I'm talking about a dad who knows his role in the family. He knows what it means to be a man. He understands he'ss a model for his sons on how to be a good man. If he has daughters, he models what they should look for in a husband and father for their children. Basically, he has the 10 Ways To Be a Better Dad memorized.

Everything about being a great dad is tied to one or more of the five characteristics of a 24/7 Dad. We started unpacking each of these five traits, starting with The Importance of the Self-Aware Father. We'll keep unpacking until we've covered all five traits. The great news is that these five questions come with a guarantee: if you answer each one honestly and take action, you will become a 24/7 Dad! Let's talk about trait two, caring for yourself.

1) Take care of yourself. So you can take care of others.

You have to place the plastic oxygen mask on your mouth first. You won't be around long enough to help others if you can't breath. Likewise, the 24/7 Dad takes care of himself. What does taking care of yourself look like? To start, here are a few ideas...

  • you get annual physicals
  • you eat right
  • you exercise
  • you're a life-long learner
  • you have a strong connection to your family and community
  • you pick friends who support your healthy choices.

The 24/7 Dad models for his children that he respects and likes himself because he makes good choices. This may seem weird to read because we don't talk about this much in our culture. It can seem like you're better off caring for others so much that your health is drained...as if that's the proper way to live. But that's just not the truth.

The hero who isn't healthy, isn't a hero for long. When’s the last time you were at the doctor? If your answer to this question is “I go to the doctor every decade whether I need to or not!” you may want to consider modeling a different standard to your son or daughter.

The 24/7 Dad asks himself: How well do I care for myself? 

2) Keep taking care of yourself, even it it doesn't seem to be working.

The plastic oxygen bag may not inflate after you put it on. But, as I understand it from my google search, this line in airplane safety is required in the United States because someone fatally removed their mask thinking it was not working. Don't do this...on a plane or in life.

As a dad, you may not think you need to take care of yourself. Some of this may seem unnecessary until it's necessary. But, we need to be in the business of prevention instead of treatment. What's the saying, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure"? 

When things are running smoothly, you may not see the importance of consistently caring for yourself. But, you can't miss this point. Even if you think you can go a long time without caring for yourself, you can't! We must be vigilant to care for ourselves. 

There's a healthy balance where you are cared for (read: no one else has to care for you!) and this frees you up to care for folks around you. You have your physical, mental, emotional house order (and consistently in check). Ask yourself these questions to get started:

  • Do I have a doctor? Do I know his name? Have I seen him for a check-up within the last year? How is my overall physical health? Do I even know what this means?!
  • What's my diet consist of daily? Am I giving the proper nutrition to think and be active? 
  • Do I exercise daily or at least weekly? Have I created options for being physically active? What are my biggest personal challenges? Am I ignoring them or dealing with them? What's my goal? Am I working toward that end?
  • Would my family say I'm a constant learner? Do I read? What do I read daily? Am I learning new things? Which of these things can I share with my children?

From physical health to emotional health, and everything in between, the 24/7 Dad is the well-adjusted dad. He understands he is responsible for his decisions and ultimately his actions. The 24/7 Dad also knows his ability to be with his children is affected by the choices he makes.

The 24/7 Dad asks himself: How well do I care for myself?

Richie knows what being a 24/7 Dad means. He wrote What Being a 24/7 Dad Means to Me? recently over at his St. Louis Dad blog. Richie's number one way to be a 24/7 Dad is to: 

Have patience and laugh. Kids can be extremely demanding and can be so annoying...Just be patient with them. They don’t know that asking for water fifty times in a row is driving you bananas. So just relax, calm down, and keep your cool. The last thing your kids need to see is you getting angry. Just brush it off and laugh. Kids are very entertaining, just pay a little attention and you will see exactly what I mean..  


You can read Richie's full post What Being a 24/7 Dad Means to Me? and learn his top-five ways to be a 24/7 Dad.  

*****

New Call-to-action

Please go here to buy the shirt! Then, share pics of yourself or the dad in your life using #247Dad on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

Fatherhood leaders > Wear this unique t-shirt to show how proud you are to be a leader. Give it to dads who attend your program or as a graduation gift.

Dads, Moms, & Children > Wear this shirt to show your passion for fatherhood and inspire those around you to live as responsible fathers. Or, give as a gift to a dad you know.

Question > What's being a 24/7 Dad mean to you?

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

The Father Factor Blog > Where Fatherhood Leaders Go To Learn.

Search Our Blog

Topics