Dads And The Preteen Blues

February 17, 2012

Every involved father of a young boy or girl undoubtedly feels pride in watching his little one grow from infancy to adulthood. However, there is one snag that is nearly universal for dads and moms and alike – the dreaded preteen years! This is the time where your little prince or princess wants a bit more independence and respect from dads, sometimes not being very respectful themselves. Fathers who have faced this time must exercise extreme patience and remember to put love first when addressing their child.

The question is, how does a dad stand firm in his position as a father yet remain calm? How do you administer discipline to your child without causing irreparable harm? Every father has faced this crossroads in some form or fashion.  

For those fathers still in need of help, the best thing to do is remember how you were at that age. Did you have all the answers? Were you always emotionally balanced? Did you always display maturity? If you answered no to any of those questions, then you can surely place yourself into the shoes of your child.

There are a few important things fathers can do at this time:

•     Be a good listener and try your best not to react to your child with hostility or aggression
•     Show your child that you’re in control of yourself and the situation at all times. When you feel yourself getting frustrated, take a quick moment to cool down before trying to work with your child again
•     If dad and mom are together in the home, become partners in parenting by speaking with your child together. With two different yet loving perspectives, children feel secure in knowing they have parents who love them unconditionally.
•     Last, spend as much time as you can with your children. Soon, they’ll be adults and off to college or in the work world, and these times of angst and worry will be long gone. Make the most of the moments you have with your children by being present and willing to discuss their innermost thoughts without judgment or fear. The bonds you build by just being prepared to handle anything and never wavering will get stronger by the day.

Check out a recent blog post on the FatherFactor by a young lady reflecting on three important things her dad shared with her during her teenage years.

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