20 Questions to Help you Define the Relationship (DTR)

It’s time that couples answer critical questions and share them with each other. So here are 20 questions to get you started in figuring out if a “healthy relationship” or a healthy marriage is right for you:

1.    Should we be monogamous?
2.    How do we define “faithfulness” in our relationship?
3.    Should we take precautions when having sex to avoid getting HIV and other STIs?
4.    While in the relationship can we produce children outside the relationship?  
5.     Should we think of it as a “long term” relationship? And what is long term?
6.    Should we make a public declaration of our relationship?
7.    Should we live together?
8.    Should we own property together?
9.    What are our obligations to one another when one of us is sick or loses a job?
10.    When we run into serious relationship problems, should we seek formal/professional help?
11.    Should we share similar views on childrearing?
12.    Should we share in decision-making?
13.    Should we be concerned about getting along with each other’s families?
14.    Is there a formal way to end the relationship that will protect each of our legal rights?
15.    Should we help pay for each other’s education?
16.    Should we make sacrifices in our careers, education, etc. to advance the other’s?
17.    Should we fully invest ourselves emotionally in the relationship?  And what does it mean to fully invest ourselves?
18.    Should we share important personal information, such as social security numbers, bank account information, etc?
19.    Should we combine money/finances and save for each other’s retirement?
20.    Is it beneficial for us to share similar views about the role of faith/spirituality in our lives?