--- title: When your father is the milkman description: Fathers, please compliment your son if you want them to respect you. image: https://www.fatherhood.org/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/Featured%20Image.jpg --- [Skip to main content](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/bid/135290/when-your-father-is-the-milkman#main) - [![NFI mark](https://www.fatherhood.org/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI%20mark.svg)FATHERHOOD.ORG](https://www.fatherhood.org/) - [STORE.FATHERHOOD.ORG](https://store.fatherhood.org/) [![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=149&height=82&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=119&height=65&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=119&height=66&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=89&height=49&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ](https://www.fatherhood.org) - [How To Build Strong Families](https://www.fatherhood.org/build-strong-families) - [Why Father Inclusion Matters](https://www.fatherhood.org/why-father-inclusion-matters) - Show submenu for Get Involved Get Involved - [Fatherhood Programs](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/programs-and-resources) - [Train Your Staff](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/staff-training) - [State, County, and City Agency Services](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/collaborative-services) Open main navigation Close main navigation - Show submenu for Get Informed Get Informed - [How To Build Strong Families](https://www.fatherhood.org/build-strong-families) - [Why Father Inclusion Matters](https://www.fatherhood.org/why-father-inclusion-matters) - [Father Stats & Infographics](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic) - Show submenu for Get Involved Get Involved - [Fatherhood Programs](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/programs-and-resources) - [Train Your Staff](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/staff-training) - [State, County, and City Agency Services](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/collaborative-services) - Show submenu for Get Started Get Started - [Find Your Stage of Father Inclusion](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-inclusion) - [How Father Friendly Is Your Organization?](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-friendly) - [Get In Touch](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) [Store](https://store.fatherhood.org/?hsLang=en) [Get In Touch](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) [Store](https://store.fatherhood.org/?hsLang=en) Show submenu for Get Started Get Started - [Fatherhood Data & Statistics](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic) - [How Father Friendly is Your Organization?](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-friendly) - [Other Free Resources](https://www.fatherhood.org/nfi-free-resources) - [Talk With us to Get Started](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) National Fatherhood Initiative Blog / [Latest Articles](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood) [General Fatherhood Program Resources](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/topic/general-fatherhood-program-resources) # When your father is the milkman 1 min read ![Vincent DiCaro](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hub/135704/file-528182185.jpg?width=100&height=100&name=file-528182185.jpg) [** Vincent DiCaro ** ](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/author/vincent-dicaro) Vince is NFI's Vice President of Communication and Development. He is married to Claudia, has one son with another son on the way and lives in Maryland. The 11/21/11 issue of Time magazine did its ["10 Questions" feature with Sting.](http://ti.me/sxNT3J) In it, Sting reveals that the first time his father ever complimented him was when he was on his deathbed. How could this happen? How could a father never compliment his son, especially one as "successful" as Sting? I think part of the answer may have been revealed in the rest of Sting's answer. He says: "My dad and I had the same hands. I hadn't really noticed that until he was on his deathbed, and I mentioned it. And he said, 'You used your hands better than I did.' [My dad](https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood) was a milkman. And I realized that was probably the first compliment he'd ever paid me, and that was kind of devastating." Maybe I am wrong, but what I read into this is that these were two people who had mutual contempt for each other's professions, and it likely damaged their relationship. Sting's dad was a working class guy - a milkman. Is it possible that he was jealous of his son's success doing something as "frivolous" as pop music while he worked hard every day for a modest wage? Why else would he never compliment his famous son? And is it also possible that Sting had contempt for his "working stiff" dad who didn't use his hands right? And could this contempt have shown? If my speculation is correct, they were both wrong. Sting should have respected his father for working to support his family. And think of all the families who had milk every day because of what Sting's dad did. And Sting's dad should have respected his son for using his remarkable talent to entertain the world. Every person has value, and each person is given gifts to be used to help others. While Sting and his dad had very different gifts, both of their contributions should have been valued, especially by each other. Instead, we end up with a "devastated" son whose father paid him only one compliment. The lesson: find the value in the unique gifts your children have, as inconsequential as they may seem on the surface, and compliment them often. You never know when your time will come. Date Published: 11/22/2011 Last Updated: 01/03/2018 ## Learn How to Build a Fatherhood Program That Works Download this free guide for a proven 7-step roadmap—from making the case and securing funding for your program, to launching and measuring real results! 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