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The Father Factor

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Get Your Father Engagement Certificate™ from the Nation’s Leader

National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) has always been dedicated to providing resources, training, and technical assistance on how to effectively engage fathers. That’s why I’m so pumped to announce that we’ve taken that dedication further with the launch of our Father Engagement CertificateTM (FEC), an affordable on demand training that focuses on the 5 core competencies you need to make an even bigger difference in the lives of children, fathers, mothers, and families.

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What’s Great About It? 

The FEC is:

  • On demand. Learn and earn at your own pace. Get trained and earn the FEC as quickly as you need, or take as much time as you like.
  • Convenient. Always available. No travel, no hassle.
  • Affordable. Enough said.
  • Fully automated. Get started whenever you want. The entire process from purchase to receiving your certificate is fully automated. No need to email or call staff or wait for staff to get back to you. (Although we’re here if you need us!)
  • Valuable to You. Develops 5 core competencies. Increases your effectiveness. Builds further credibility within and outside your organization. You will receive an official certificate to display and an electronic badge you can place on your resume, LinkedIn profile, and other social media profiles/accounts.
  • Valuable to Your Organization/Program. Builds organization and program effectiveness. Includes practical advice and guidance that addresses critical pain points (challenges) in serving fathers. Builds credibility with funders. Your organization can promote that it has staff with FECs from the nation’s fatherhood leader.

Who Should Earn It?

The FEC is ideal for:

  • Individuals who currently work with, or desire to work with, fathers and families in communities. It’s ideal for fatherhood practitioners and staff in community organizations, social service agencies, churches, prisons/jails, military bases, and more… basically, anywhere there are fathers receiving services or participating in programs.
  • Anyone working with fathers on a volunteer, mentor, or consulting basis.
  • Anyone who has started, or wants to start, a fatherhood initiative in his or her community.

Which Father Engagement Topics are Covered?

You will learn strategies and tactics not previously released to the public. These are strategies and tactics taught to a select group of nearly 125 fatherhood and family service organizations during NFI's 5-year federally-funded National Responsible Fatherhood Certification College. NFI invested a significant amount of time and funding to develop and hone the curriculum for the college. The FEC distills the most vital content from that curriculum. An evaluation of these organizations showed that they used the same content contained in the FEC to increase their organization’s capacity in the short term and long term to effectively engage fathers. (It also helped them acquire additional funding!)

The topics include:

  1. Foundational: How to Create a Father-Friendly Organization
  2. Program Design: 7 Best Practices in Designing a Fatherhood Program
  3. Recruitment & Retention: How to Think Like a Marketer When Marketing a Fatherhood Program
  4. Involving Moms: How to Work with Moms to Encourage Father Involvement
  5. Fundraising: How to Develop a Funding Plan for a Fatherhood Program

Click here to learn even more about the FEC including the content of each training session.

What If I Want Multiple Staff in My Organization to Earn an FEC?

That’s easy. Purchase as many FEC trainings as you need. Our fully automated process does the rest!

What If I Want Multiple Staff in Several Organizations to Earn an FEC?

That’s easy, too. Let’s say you’re with a local, state, or federal agency that has grantees or partners who can benefit from acquiring FECs for their staffs. Or, perhaps, you’re part of a city, county, or state fatherhood or family strengthening initiative that includes multiple organizations as members or partners who could use FECs? Just contact us and we’ll coordinate everything for you for the cost of the certificates you need and an additional, reasonable coordination fee.

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How Do I Get Started?

That’s the easiest part. Click here to start the process of earning your Father Engagement CertificateTM. (If you need to pay by purchase order [PO], email us.)

Click Here to Start Your Father Engagement Training

How the YMCA of Greater Des Moines, Iowa is Helping Fathers & Families (Video)

We talk about how "Over 24 millions kids in the United States live without their fathers" often. But at NFI, we don't glaze over this statistic. Why? Because behind each number is a child. Behind the national number, there's a statistic for each state. Behind each state number, there's a story. Like this one...

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In Iowa, there are over 64,000 households with children under age 18 who have no father present. But, the YMCA of Greater Des Moines is working to help by serving fathers and families through their Fatherhood Initiative. Watch how this program is helping men improve their relationship with their children—and help the city of Des Moines—one father at a time.

The Fatherhood Initiative through the John R. Grubb YMCA is helping men improve their relationship with their children. The Y has a variety of resources available to help fathers connect with their families. Their Facebook page is a great example for leaders interested in doing more to reach fathers and connect them with their family.

The Fatherhood Initiative uses NFI's 24/7 Dad® Program, the 12-week course that teaches dads key principles of fatherhood. It teaches everything from how to connect with your child to how to talk with the mom of your child. The program is helping The Fatherhood Initiative in Des Moines to foster and build up connections between fathers, their children and families. The class also provides an opportunity to meet other fathers in a similar situation and work with YMCA staff to create solutions to problems affecting the relationship between dad and child. Watch this video to see their work with fathers...

Can't view the video? Click here.

Morgan Streeter (Director, Y Fatherhood) explains the importance of a fatherhood program: 

The main purpose of The Fatherhood Initiative is to engage men in the lives of their children because we know a child does a lot better when both parents are actively involved...we find these guys and give them the resources to be more involved and to give them that support so they feel comfortable being more involved.

As you watch the video, don't miss what Ed Nichols (Faith-Based Fatherhood Leader) says about fatherhood:

We all have the same issues. We are all trying to be involved in our kids lives. The culture doesn't teach us how to do that. So we help guys understand that not only do you need to be involved in their kids' lives—they need to be strategic as a dad. They (kids) need to see us do certain things. They need to hear things from us. They need to receive things from us. A kid wants to know their dad loves them.

In Iowa, there are over 64,000 households with children under age 18 who have no father present. Jose Ochoa, Sr. reveals what it's like to be a father and need help connecting with your child: 

The best part of being a father is the unconditional love that goes both ways. Much like the past, he doesn't know my mistakes. He doesn't know the bad choices I've made. He knows me for being a dad. I wish my son was with me more often and I know eventually he will be. But sometimes it's hard when I sit alone by myself and he's not there with me, and he should be there with me, that's the hard part.

Child support is not just about money. Nikolle Ross points out who suffers when dad isn't involved: 

When a father isn't there, sometimes a child feels guilty they may blame themselves for their father not being there thinking that it's their fault. Sometimes, the mother is working excess hours and she's not able to be there all the time and so it leaves a lot of room for a child to get into trouble because there's no one there, there's no guidance at home. So then, really they've (the children), ahve lost their mother and father by their father not being present.

Statistics show a child growing up without an involved dad is...

  • 4X more likely to live in poverty
  • 7X more likely to become pregnant as teen
  • More likely to have behavioral problems
  • More likely to face abuse and neglect
  • More likely to abuse drugs
  • More likely to go to prison
  • More likely to commit a crime
  • 2X more likely to suffer obesity
  • 2X more likely to drop out of high school

What's it take to be a good father? Ed Nichols has the answer: 

A good father is one that is not passive. He's not sitting back waiting for someone else to do something for the kids or expecting his wife or the kids mother to do it or teacher to do it. He's one that accepts responsibility for his role as a father.

What does a program like the Des Moines YMCA and 24/7 Dad® resources do for dads? Listen closely to the painful, yet helpful, words of Jose Ochoa, Sr.: 

I got involved in this program at a real sad my life and everybody here was very supportive. It was a place where I could come invent, get mad, you know, talk about what was hurting me, what was bothering me and that really helped me a lot through sad times —when I wasn't able to see my son. We are not alone. There's a lot of guys out there that are single parents with kids and these people listen and care. And don't give up.

If you live in the Des Moines area, visit the YMCA Fatherhood Initiative.

What's your city doing for fathers? Find out who uses NFI resources using our FatherSource Locator™ and help connect with fatherhood leaders in your area.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

On Fathers and Their Importance

A famous baseball player, Harmon Killebrew, is credited with saying, “My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You’re tearing up the grass." "We’re not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We’re raising [children]." This story sheds light on what some experts say is an important difference between mothers and fathers. Dr. Kyle Pruett, an author and professor of child psychiatry at Yale University, writes, “Fathers do not mother, they father…Fathers tend to do things differently.” Both parenting approaches are important in raising healthy, productive children in safe and stable environments. 

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The FRIENDS National Center on Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention (CBCAP) provides training and technical assistance to CBCAP State Lead Agencies (SLAs) in every state, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico. CBCAP is a federally funded program managed by the Children’s Bureau within the Administration for Children and Families. This community of federal, state, and local programs aims to reduce child abuse including neglect through evidence-based and evidence-informed programs.

Many populations are targeted and strategies are typically based on building protective factors within individuals, families, and communities. These protective factors include

  • building social and emotional competence in children
  • building resiliency in parents
  • supporting families in need of concrete support
  • helping parents make social connections
  • increasing knowledge of parenting and child development

While the presence of a father in the home has decreased substantially in the last forty years, CBCAP-funded programs know there are many ways to engage fathers who may not be living with their children, and help fathers who are disconnected become reconnected with their children.

When this is not possible, other men become even more important in the lives of children as healthy male role models. These men may be uncles, grandfathers, neighbors, teachers, coaches, and many others. Research indicates father involvement promotes better outcomes for children including increases in

  • self-esteem
  • grades
  • overall academic achievement
  • empathy
  • prosocial behavior
  • lower levels of alcohol and drug use
  • and other high-risk activities  

The field is learning more each year about the importance of both fathers and mothers in children’s lives.

Sam Blue from St. Louis Missouri serves on FRIENDS National Center Parent Advisory Council (PAC) and is a family engagement specialist with Project Launch.

Mr. Blue’s Perspective on the Diversity of Fatherhood

My name is Sam Blue. I am thankful for my wife of 25 years and 9 children. I have 7 daughters, and 2 sons. My children all have unique and different personalities. I’ve learned to appreciate and value diversity through my children. I have daughters that are outgoing, strategic minded, funny, risk-takers, studious, Hollywood quality, and creative. While one son is gifted with music the other brings a curious and adventurous spirit to everything he does. As a community engagement specialist for Project LAUNCH, I’ve learned to appreciate and value diversity in fathers as well. I work with fathers with cultural differences, racial differences, different employment statuses, and all levels of income. Amongst all of the differences, the fathers are each still looking for effective ways for them to grow in their fatherhood.

I’ve learned to appreciate and value the diversity of my children and the many different fathers I work with. I’ve learned to be open-minded, and to celebrate the diversity of fathers and their children.

Resources

For specific resources on engaging fathers’ and their importance in the lives of children, please visit the FRIENDS’ website www.friendsnrc.org.

Whether a father teaches his children to cook, sew, pitch a ball, or work productively, we know what he brings to the table cannot be easily dismissed. A parent and participant on a FRIENDS’ Peer Learning Call once said, ‘Mothers prepare the world for their child, while fathers prepare their child for the world.’ Not many could argue that both types of preparation are critical to growing up healthy and productive in a challenging world.

The balance of having someone help pave the way for you in the world, and being taught how to manage one’s place in the world as it is, is something a baseball player, a parent, and many experts agree on, and is best taught by a mother (or mother-figure) and a father (or father-figure).

Resources from NFI

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month > NFI understands the importance of training fathers to be involved because dads are vital to their child's lives. We recommend two resources, Creating a Safe Home for Your Family and Understanding Domestic Violence Workshop to help the fathers and families you serve.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Valerie Spiva Collins is the Training and Technical Assistance Supervisor for the FRIENDS National Center on CBCAP. Sam Blue is a member of FRIENDS National Parent Advisory Council, a community engagement specialist for Project LAUNCH in Missouri and a supportive husband of 24 years and loving father of 9 children.

Two Stories that Will Warm Your Heart

We receive a lot of phone calls and emails from dads and moms who seek guidance on father involvement and related issues. The vast majority of these calls and emails are associated with the negative effects of father absence. But every once in a while, a dad or mom, and sometimes a child, shares an uplifting story about how a dad stepped up to the plate to be a great dad and the positive impact of that action. Those stories drive our staff to never stop ensuring that as many children as possible experience the love of an involved, responsible, committed father.

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We also stay on the lookout for such uplifting stories that aren't directly shared with us because we know they can motivate individuals and organizations in their work to connect fathers and children. These stories are often shared by the organizations that use our resources, donors, and dads and moms across the country. (Click here for Stories of Impact shared by our organization partners.) Sometimes we find stories during the course of our work to provide the most useful information and resources. 

While conducting some research recently, I learned about StoryCorps, a nonprofit with the following mission:

StoryCorps' mission is to provide people of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to record, share and preserve the stories of our lives. We do this to remind one another of our shared humanity, to strengthen and build the connections between people, to teach the value of listening, and to weave into the fabric of our culture the understanding that everyone’s story matters. At the same time, we are creating an invaluable archive for future generations. 

In its more than 10 years of existence, StoryCorps has captured and archived more that 50,000 recordings on an incredible range of topics. Curious, I plugged "fathers" into their search function to see whether I could find stories to use in our work. The result produced a number of recordings that turned up a few gems, two in particular that I hope will uplift you as much as they did me.

The first recording is of a 9-year-old boy, Aidan Sykes, who interviewed his father, Albert, about being a dad. (Albert runs a nonprofit focused on mentoring children. He is not only in a great dad, he has stepped up to help children less fortunate than his own.) Click here to listen.

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The second recording is of Wil Smith telling his now adult daughter, Olivia, what it was like to raise her as a single dad while in college. He recorded the conversation shortly after he was diagnosed with cancer. Sadly, he died just a few months ago. Click here to listen.

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We want to share more stories like these. Please let us know if you have one.

Do you have an uplifting story to share? 

Do you have a Story of Impact that resulted from the use of an NFI resource? If so, click here to learn more about how to share it with us.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

For Fathers in Prison > Fatherhood Training Impacts Recidivism and Behavior [KY DoC]

When dad’s in prison, his child is more likely to go to prison. Eighty-nine percent—that’s almost 9 out of 10 of Kentucky’s inmates—are male. Most of these inmates are fathers. We know most inmates aren't serving life sentences. Meaning, the father in prison is returning to his community and to his family at some point. Sadly, most inmates are released ill equipped to face the problems that put them in prison. The Kentucky Department of Corrections (DOC) is addressing this problem through fatherhood programs, and it’s working. 

KYDOCShowsFatherhoodTrainingReducesRecidivismandImprovesBehaviorThe Kentucky DOC has used NFI’s fatherhood programs since 2012. We wrote about the progress of the DOC training 381 dads and counting. Now we’re excited to share some insightful statistics—beyond the progress in training dads—on how effective our programs are to inmates and the DOC both while inmates are in prison and upon release. We know our fatherhood programs work, but we get excited when others conduct their own research and learn how much impact our programs have. 

InsideOut Dad® is Effective > Here’s the Data

Here are the exciting statistics, compiled by the Kentucky DOC, on the recidivism rate and rate of in-prison disciplinary actions (e.g. behavioral infractions) for 575 dads who participated in the program for the two year period 2012-2014. Of 575 fathers who completed in the program:

  • 318 were released
  • 52 of those 318, or 16 percent, returned to prison as a result of a new charge or a parole violation which is 57 percent lower than the two-year statewide recidivism rate of 37 percent

Moreover:

  • Prior to entering the program, participants averaged 1.836 disciplinary actions per inmate compared to only .32 actions per inmate while they participated in the program and .26 actions per inmate after they completed the program. This is a whopping 86 percent reduction in disciplinary actions.

It’s vital to note that NFI’s programs help fathers in Kentucky’s DOC not only while in prison (using the InsideOut Dad® Program) but upon release (using the 24/7 Dad® Program).

Training Fathers While In Prison

According to feedback from a representative at the Kentucky DOC, the state has seen a clear shift in the inmate population from an egocentric attitude, to a focus on their families and children, even from inside prison. In addition to the fathers benefiting from the program, the DOC is meeting their goal of offering a cognitive, behavioral, and therapeutic approach to inmate rehabilitation (since they are using NFI’s InsideOut Dad® Program while a father is in prison and the 24/7 Dad® Program upon release from prison). Using both fatherhood training programs is helping the Kentucky DOC address their top four criminogenic concerns related to fathers: 

  1. Criminal and family history
  2. Family (marriage and parenting) relatationships
  3. Education and employment
  4. Leisure and recreation

Training Fathers After Release

Research shows that fathers who learn to connect to their children and family before being released are more likely to successfully integrate back into the community and less likely to return to prison.

NFI has worked with the Kentucky DOC to create a reentry program to help dads continue building their fathering skills once released. Kentucky's DOC works with community-based organizations, via the state’s Probation and Parole Division, to deliver NFI’s 24/7 Dad® program to fathers in transitional facilities and other community-based organizations in the reentry field. 24/7 Dad® addresses fathering from a holistic perspective and continues to build on pro-fathering behaviors. (For a report on the effectiveness of 24/7 Dad® in a reentry setting, click here.)

While the statistics on recidivism and disciplinary actions are vital to understanding the widespread impact NFI’s programs can have on inmates and corrections systems, behind every statistic, as they say, is a person. To truly grasp the life-changing impact of NFI’s programs, it’s important to capture that impact in the words of the dads who participate in them. Here is one Kentucky inmate’s story. Please take a moment to reflect on his words. See what happens when a father goes to prison and is then shown the tools for how to connect with his child through NFI’s programs. 

How Training Changed One Father > Read His Story


Dear NFI

I've always heard the old adage a carpenter is only as good as his tools. That's why I would like to thank you and your volunteers for giving me the opportunity to have experienced and to have graduated your IoD class (InsideOut Dad® Program). With so many dynamics I have facing me in having six children I have a large task ahead of me, but I have some of those tools I need to start building and mending those relationships I so long to have with my children and vice versa. 

First of all I will tell you a little about myself, because change has to start with me. I am 45 years old and have six children ranging from 27 to 8 years of age. In 11 days I will serve out a 15-year sentence, but it is not the first time I have been incarcerated. Altogether, it will make 22 years I have served in sentences in the state of Kentucky which lets you know I haven't been in my children's lives very much over the years. 

Through God and this class I have actually started mending some of these relationships I have either destroyed or never gave a chance to develop in the first place. Since 1988 I've been in and out of jails and prisons only to stay out long enough to start a relationship and ultimately having children and then to leave them behind again. This time I served out my 15-year sentence and then seven years and four months with educational and other good time. I know I've done everything this time to turn my life around, but in order to do so I had to finally face my demons and look at myself for who I really was. If we don't know it's broke we tend not to fix the problem.

All in all I've left a lot of damaged lives behind in my wake of destruction. With IoD (InsideOut Dad® Program) I've been able to salvage some of these relationships and prepare to face the challenges of starting a relationship with my children.

The first tool I’ve learned to use is communication. I have six children by four different mothers which I'm not proud of, but ultimately it seems I had fallen into my father's footsteps (learned behavior), so in the seven years there's been no telephone calls because of the high cost to make telephone calls from prison. I wish I could start a fund just to help with that cost of future fathers could stay in touch with your children, especially the ones going through this program. 

Through writing I had mended my relationship with my oldest daughter Sheena. We have been corresponding on a regular basis for a while now. She followed my footsteps and committed a crime two years ago, but was put on a diversion program, which included six months of in-house rehabilitation.

During our time of writing I've used several tools I've learned through IoD (InsideOut Dad® Program) such as getting to know who she is, her personality traits, so I would be able to have more to talk to her about. Of course I have apologized many times over the years that I was absent from her life. 

I knew she blamed me for the way her life had turned out so I used another tool (empathy). I put myself in her shoes and realized this was true because I too blame my parents as well for my life being messed up. Now we have something in common that we can share and build on. I let her know I can relate to her, because I had been on my own all of my life as well. I told her how I finally located my mother at the age of 15 years old and how it didn't go over so well. Ultimately I moved in with her and my step-father to pay $55 a week for my part-time job that I had that summer just to sleep on the couch. I moved out on my own after two months and it actually was cheaper for me that way. I also told her I had to stop blaming them, because as an adult I knew wrong from right now. I couldn't blame them for my mistakes any longer. Like her, my rough childhood resulted in drug use to numb the pain from the past.

Now here's the miracle I want to share with the world. This is better than the fact I get to leave prison here in 11 days. After the fact she did six months rehab she decided she wasn't ready to leave so she signed up for another six months which I supported 100%. I told her that she needed to take this time to be there for herself and not worry about anyone else because she does have four children of her own which her mother has now. I told her I have learned by experience if you can't be there for yourself you can't be there for anyone else either. If you don't love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you in return? This one time it was all right to be selfish, because it was for all the right reasons.

This girl completed 14 months of rehab dad being your number one supporter and biggest fan. A recovery center in Kentucky has hired her on full-time as part of the staff now. She is in a good place now and loves her job. A month ago she sent me her phone number. The fact that I'm leaving here on the 31st gave me an opportunity to get an institutional phone call to see if she would be at the bus station when I'm dropped off that morning. By the way I will be spending the morning with her and my four grandchildren whom I've only met the oldest as of yet. This is the first conversation I've had with my daughter in over seven years.

She answered and said hello and I said hi baby girl. She said who is this and I said it's your daddy. All she could do is cry. After she got her composure she finally said the words so longed to hear. I love you and I forgive you for not being there for all those years. She said through God she had so much peace that she was finally able to forgive me. In our conversations through writing God had been our main subject of discussion. The way I see it, whether you believe in Jesus or not, which I do, there are good morals to be learned from the Bible. Just as the tools I've gained from IoD. With these tools and the wisdom and patience of my instructor Mr. X, I've built relations with two of my children.

Nikki my 21-year-old daughter is who I am moving in with on the 31st. She just had her first baby on the 18th of this month. She truly loved and forgives me as well. My 25-year-old daughter and whom I've only seen four times while incarcerated since her birth has expressed a need to know me as well, because she has talked to her siblings and has noticed a change in my life and relationships I've built with them. IoD (InsideOut Dad®) is contagious. 

My 19-year-old son doesn't respond, but I still send him letters, just to let him know I still love you. He may be a little angry, but in time even water dissolves the biggest and hardest of rocks.
My children 10 and eight years of age don't know me, but they soon will. I have written them over the years so they do know I exist and that I put forth the effort. All in all I would like to think NFI for IoD (InsideOut Dad®) for the programs put forth to help us fathers and children. Like I told my oldest daughter Sheena it's up to us now to stop this vicious cycle that's been handed down to us from generation to generation. It's time to plant new seeds.

Thank you for giving me the tools to do so. I don't know by putting my children needs before mine and getting to know them and giving them the chance to know me that we can turn things around. I believe now that I can turn things around. I believe now I can lead by example, to teach my children that they can live a morally ethic life by watching me to do it in love. I have for myself and them as well now. If I can't fix myself how can I even possibly think of fixing my relationship with them? Thank you for your time in the tools I needed to rebuild the relationships I so desire to have with my children. Your work and efforts have not been done in vain. 

Sincerely, 
B


This is only one inmates’ story. There are hundreds just like it in Kentucky alone. We at NFI are thankful for the leaders at the Kentucky DOC. We are so excited about their commitment to rehabilitating inmates through programs like InsideOut Dad® and 24/7 Dad® so that corrections is part of the solution rather than just another step in the criminal justice process. The state, the fathers, the families, and the children of Kentucky are seeing the benefits of this solution-based approach.  

For more information on the products and services the Kentucky DOC is using along with the organizations they are partnering with, view the full case study and visit our Corrections Programs page for more program successes.

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Learn more about fatherhood and corrections > Fathers Behind Bars [Infographic]
 

  The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

How a Man Named Emil is Helping Fathers in Torrington, Connecticut

It's been over a year, but I can still sense the silent, awkward pause on the other end of the phone. When I talked with Emil, he spoke excitedly about his work with fathers in Torrington, CT. When I asked him "the why" behind his work with fathers, his tone changed from excited to convicted. In 40 minutes of conversation, I learned what's happening with dads in Torrington while being reminded of the conviction it takes to lead. 

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In 2000, there were 676,467 married households—52 percent of the state population in Connecticut. By 2010, that number had dipped to 672,013—49 percent. That's even considering the overall population of the state having grown from 3.41 million to 3.57 million. We have talked about Connecticut and fatherhood in the past, but another story is worth sharing. 

Family Strides is an organization located in northwest Connecticut, who helps families and communities to ensure healthy pregnancy outcomes and positive parenting practices in order to strengthen families and reduce the incidence of child abuse and neglect. Family Strides has seen the above pattern of marriage and fatherhood take place in its community. In fact, the only place in the entire county that was serving fathers was the child support system, and the only place to send fathers who were not paying child support was prison. That is, before Family Strides came along.

Thirty-five minutes from Hartford is Torrington. For this county, there's a different option, besides jail, for dads who need help. A man named Emil is helping dads see that the role they play in their children’s lives is much more than just paying child support. Through our 24/7 Dad® Program, we have helped Family Strides teach dads to be better fathers.

Where does Family Strides find dads to help?

Whereas some organizations may find it difficult to recruit dads to attend a fatherhood program, Family Strides doesn't recruit. How do they get dads to attend? "Every father thinks he knows what he’s doing," says Emil, "There's so many programs for mom. But dad has nothing." He continues, "We ended up going into court system in the county, into the child-support court systems. They had no place to send dad but prison, or anger management."

The county magistrates, before Emil and his group came along offering something different, had nothing but prison for dads who didn't pay child support. "If the dad doesn't pay child support, you warn him...you warn him..you warn him...then you lock him up.", Emil explains. Emil has been in that court system for 10 years. Now, he doesn’t spend time recruiting dads. He works only from referrals like: family courts, hospitals, employment agencies, head starts, and other community-based organizations.

“I’ve worked with over a thousand dads, ” says Emil. The biggest issue? "Many men feel their job is to put roof over head and feed them (kids)—and that's where it ends. Nothing more..." says Emil. Emil asks dads he meets, "When was the last time you went to a parent-teacher conference?" Emil explains, "Most dad's will answer: isn’t that her (mom's) job?" Emil will also ask, "Who's your child's first teacher?" He recalls from years of experience, dads will always give the name of their child's teacher at school. Emil will then say, "No, dad, you are...you are the teacher.”

What happens in the fatherhood program?

Must dads think they are the only ones to ever make a mistake. But something magical happens when I dad gets with other dads in a group. He starts to realize, "Yeah, I screwed up, but so did he." For maybe the first time ever, this dad learns that we all make mistakes. Emil explains, "You can make a 30-minute mistake. But, you can’t make a 30-minute mistake daily." At some point, we have to find a reason to live better stories. For some, the child is that reason.

Emil explains: 

There is nothing more valuable than your child. Nothing. Not the size of your house, how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, or what kind of vacation you take. Every decision you make has to place your child first. 

Dads who attend Emil's group learn everything related to fatherhood, from relationships and communication, to discipline. Emil points out, when all a dad knows to "teach" a child is yelling—dads must learn that they have other options. For a topic as seemingly simple as discipline, understand you're only gonna do, as a dad, what you were taught and what was done to you.

Sadly, most dads Emil sees don't want to be like their own dad. But, as Emil explains, "they are 50 percent their dad and 50 percent of mom." You are the sum of your experiences and education. How you were parented is often how you parent. This is all fine and good unless you had less-than-perfect parent models. Emil explains, "Alcoholism is a big issue. Drug abuse is an issue. Economy and jobs is an issue." He often asks to meet the dads' kids. Experience shows, "I can’t help everyone..but, when the father starts seeing how much he can help his kid, he can change..." says Emil.

Emil often meets the children of the dads he works with, "I ask them, 'what do you think of this guy?'...when they say, 'He’s my daddy. I love my daddy. He’s my world...' These fathers break down. They haven’t heard that before. A light-bulb goes off.." recalls Emil. It's a 13-week fatherhood course. Emil says, "I don’t throw guys out of the class after 13 weeks. They are all welcome to keep coming. They come back occasionally. I have gentlemen that come back for the last six years at least monthly." 

The Why Behind the What 

Emil started helping dads in Torrington 10 years ago. At the time, he had a 12-year-old daughter and an infant soon. Emil had a strong relationship with his Dad, recalling over the phone how his dad used to tell him, “I love you so much it hurts.” Emil recalls the first person he called upon having his son was his father, simply to say, “Now I understand what you mean.”

Emil's son, Emil Jr, was born with an intestinal problem. At three days old he was transferred to a special teaching hospital in Connecticut. It was 10 days later, Emil's son was diagnosed as having Down Syndrome. His son got some better as time went on, but they lived in children's medical center. After a few years, Emil lost his son to leukemia. “As a dad, there is nothing worse than being helpless.” I listened as Emil recalled those helpless times of walking the hallways of the hospital. I listened to Emil's voice shake as he shared with me. 

Emil explained, with conviction, why he cares so much about fathers. He says, "I still use my son in teaching the group." When a dad says “I stay away because 'she' (the mother) won’t let me...” Emil will reply, “I’d love to trade with you. You are choosing not to see them. I can’t choose...You can get on a phone and call at least. You can make your visits. I can't see my son anymore. I go to a stone."

How does Emil know his work with fathers matters?

At his son’s wake, over 200 dads attended. As we closed our conversation, Emil has a message he wanted all dads to understand about having kids:

They need you all their life…be there. You need to be the man you want to see your daughter with. You don’t want to see your son brutalize girls. So you don't need to brutalize the child's mom. Be there for your child. Nothing is more important.

For Fatherhood Program Leaders > Learn more about Emil's work with fathers in Connecticut.

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Richmond County Fatherhood Initiative is Reaching Fathers & Families (Video)

Poverty. Behavioral issues. Drug abuse. Becoming pregnant as a teen. Prison. Local leaders have come together to form the Richmond County Fatherhood Initiative, which hopes to reach fathers of all backgrounds throughout the Northern Neck of Virginia. Their goal? Make sure fathers are there for their children, their families, their community.

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If you've seen our post on The Father Absence Crisis in America, then you know the issues that can arise when a child grows up in a home without a father. For Richmond County, these statistics are likely realities. In a news story on the Richmond County Fatherhood Initiative, we read how dads are learning to connect with family—and how this is helping the community.

We often talk about the national epidemic of father absence. However, the realities can and should be broken down into state by state (community by community) levels. If you read our post on what's happening in Richmond prisons titled When Dad's in Jail, you will no doubt understand the stats related to father absence are realities that we must work to make more and better fathers. 

Philip Belfield, the Branch Executive of the Richmond County YMCA, has said of the father absence problem:

“When I saw the statistics of the results, what happens to kids and families that don’t have fathers that participate, it’s really staggering...And to see that is happening right here in our area in the Northern Neck, where more and more fathers are not participating in their families’ lives, I feel like that’s something that 1) personally, but 2) [with] my role with the YMCA, we can play a positive role in that area.”

The Richmond County Fatherhood Initiative grew out of a forum conducted by Claudette Henderson, the former Director of Richmond County Social Services. The forum centered on the need for a fatherhood presence in the local area.

“When I heard about this program, I had to join,” said Davis Roberts, principal of Richmond County Elementary.

“If dads are present, you reduce dropouts; with dads being present, kids are less likely to be in poverty; with dads being present, [it results in] better self-esteem for the kids.” —Davis Roberts (Principal, Richmond County Elementary)

Coming together to kickstart the program were local community leaders including

  • Davis Roberts, Principal, Richmond County Elementary
  • Philip Belfield, Branch Executive, Richmond County YMCA
  • Wendy Herdman, Virginia Cooperative Extension Agent overseeing 4-H Youth Development

Another helping hand came from Virginia Delegate Margaret Ransone (R-99th) who, according to Davis, played a key role in gathering advertisement for the community support group.

“As a woman and a mom, it was eye opening for me to recognize the impact fathers have on their children,” Ransone said. “It’s easy to get on a routine and forget what our Dads really mean to a family.” Virginia Delegate Margaret Ransone (R-99th) 

The Rest of the Fatherhood Story in Greater Richmond
NFI has been working to help fathers and families in Virginia for years. For instance, First Things First of Greater Richmond received a capacity-building grant from NFI in 2007 to start building the foundation it needed to create a sustainable fatherhood program. With the foundation in place, they began adding the elements that would make up an effective fatherhood initiative across the city and surrounding counties like you're starting to see today.

First, they began using NFI curricula to meet the community’s needs. They partnered with AmeriCorps and Richmond City Human Services for a grant to hire two part-time staff to deliver NFI’s InsideOut Dad® Program in the Richmond City Jail. They also partnered with the Henrico County Public Schools Fatherhood Initiative - Man Up, which was not using a curriculum, to begin offering NFI’s 24/7 Dad® program.

All of this work helped raise public awareness in the community about the importance of serving fathers. For example, NFI’s Fatherhood Resource Kiosks, filled with brochures for dads, were a public, visible sign that services were being provided to dads. First Things First also worked with the Richmond Family and Fatherhood Initiative to help them diversify their resources and provide instructors to deliver various programs.

Want to see First Things First in action in Richmond City Jail? Watch testimonials from participants in (Richmond, VA): In this video, see how InsideOut Dad® is helping teach men to be better husbands and dads and connect to their families. 


First Things First has also promoted their story well—using publicity to ensure that the community knows the positive work they are doing, such as working with the jail to promote the use of InsideOut Dad®, which resulted in a story in the Richmond Times Dispatch. Additionally, they are using various resources at their disposal to educate and inspire their partners and their community about the importance of providing services to fathers. Here are just a few services provided by other groups or companies First Things First partners with various organizations and entities to carry out its work:

  • Richmond City Sheriff’s Office
  • Henrico County Public Schools Fatherhood Initiative – Man Up
  • U Turn Ministries
  • Central Library 

We are proud to be helping the Greater Richmond area reach fathers and are excited about what we've seen can happen when a group of leaders see the problem and work toward a solution. Go Richmond, and go dads.

Here are a few resources you will find helpful for more information:

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

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Fresno Dads Are Getting Help Thanks to 'POPS'

Research tells us kids raised in fatherless homes are four times more likely to grow up in poverty. The group called "POPS" is reversing this awful statistic by changing fatherhood in Fresno County, California. There is good things happening in Fresno. Watch the video to see how Fresno Dads are learning to connect with their families. 

The letters P-O-P-S stand for "Proving Our Parenting Skills" and as part of the Responsible Fatherhood Program it's a collaborative that provides resources to Fresno County, California fathers in need of economic stability, employment services, activities to promote or sustain marriage and healthy relationships, and activities to promote responsible fatherhood/parenting.  

The POPS program uses NFI's 24/7 Dad® Program and Love Notes™ (the program young adults who are married or considering marriage). This picture is of a recent graduating class from our popular 24/7 Dad® Program. 

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Watch the video below for more details, but what follows is one story from this helpful group of dads. 

Here's one story from POPS in Fresno, you can view the full article here:

Gaeta, a 20-year-old father is making up for lost time with help from the Proving Our Parenting Skills (POPS). Fresno Housing Authority, First 5 Fresno County, and Marjaree Mason Center are only a few of the collaborative partners in the POPS program. Fathers like Gaeta are encouraged to participate in parenting skills and relationship-building classes.

Gaeta works fulltime with the Fresno EOC Local Conservation Corps. He's also a fulltime student at Fresno City College, where he is studying electrical engineering. "They (Fresno EOC) have quite a bit of stuff to offer people who need things, but there's a lot of things out there for mothers, but not a lot for dads," said Gaeta, father to 2-year-old Natalia Emilia.

Gaeta wants create a better future with his daughter and her mother. Gaeta's past of skipping school and neglecting his studies are in the past. "I used to miss about 10 days (of school) a month," said Gaeta, "but I know I want her (Natalia) to go to college..." Aside from the parenting skills, Gaeta voluntarily signed up for anger management courses from the POPS program. The program, he said, has strengthened his relationship with his parents.

"I know I had an anger management problem. I've been learning to have a little bit more patience; and learn how to cope with everything better. Anything that irritated me or frustrated would grow into anger," said Gaeta, "I've always talked about it. It was something that I was always aware of." Gaeta was inspired when his daughter and bride-to-be Teresa witnessed his graduation last from Fresno EOC's YouthBuild Charter School of California. "That was really good," he added. Gaeta hopes to graduate from Fresno City College, then transfer to California State University, Fresno.


Fresno POPS has also helped Gaeta with the cost of childcare by giving clothing, diapers and other needs. The program can foster up to 1,500 individuals. We are thankful there are men and women willing to serve dads in Fresno like this. Fresno POPS is changing fatherhood and families in Fresno and beyond. 

If you live in the Fresno area, visit Fresno POPS for details. If you're interested helping dads in your area, download How to Start a Fatherhood Program

The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

Locked Up in Jacksonville Florida: How One Corrections Dept is Correcting Fatherhood

The average cost to incarcerate a person for one year is $29,000. I hate this expense so much. Hear me out, I'm all for criminals doing the time. But, since "doing the time" is costing college tuition, I think inmates should learn something for that kind of money. We should at least teach inmates how to get out of prison instead of how to stay in. If you find yourself locked up in Jacksonville, Florida, look for a man named Rickie Shaw. Mr. Shaw can help.

We know all about the father absence crisis in America. A major part of this crisis is sitting behind bars. We wrote Fathers Behind Bars a few months ago, but allow me to remind of some stats related to fathers in prison:

  • There are 2.7 million children with a parent in prison or jail.
  • Ninety-two percent (92%) of parents in prison are fathers. 
  • 650,000+ ex-offenders are released from prison every year.
  • Two-thirds of ex-offenders, or 429,000, will likely re-offend within three (3) years.

This problem is the one Adam Causey, writing for Jacksonville.com, covered a while back. It's still one of the best videos I've seen for showing why rehabilitating inmates is vital and how NFI helps.

Rickie Shaw, a Community Outreach Development Specialist with Family Support Services, teaches weekly sessions of NFI's InsideOut Dad® program, the fatherhood program for inmates to learn the skills they need to be a better father. He teaches at the James I. Montgomery Correctional Center in Jacksonville, Florida.

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As you might imagine, prison inmates make for a tough crowd. But, Rickie Shaw has learned what it takes to connect. He says in the video that follows,"I am man. I am dad. So are they. That's a natural connection. But, they have to understand, I'm genuine. That my motivation is not to collect my two-week check. I'm here to make sure these men make a difference in their children's lives."  

 Can't see the video? Click here to view.

Please take time to watch this video. Rickie Shaw gets it. He'll be the first to tell you parenting is a learned skill. If you find yourself at Jacksonville’s Montgomery Correctional Facility on a Monday or Wednesday, you'll find a group of inmates learning how to be men.

From discussions on relationships, communication, and discipline, there's nothing out of bounds when it comes to preparing inmates for release from prison. It's all part of the InsideOut Dad® program.

Family Support Services of Northeast Florida is the nonprofit that handles local adoptions and other state-funded social services. They expanded the program to Duval County after it worked well in other parts of Florida.

Adam Causey, the writer of the aforementioned article, recalled upon visiting an InsideOut Dad® class, that men were learning about developmental stages of children. He recalls inmates "laughing as they read about babies as young as two months being able to mimic smiles..." Inmates also learn, that by ages 1 and 2, kids grow inches in just months and add four to six pounds a year.

Have you ever been locked behind bars? Hopefully you haven't. But, consider this, the physical changes of a child happen fast. When you're locked up, one year can mean missing out on a lot in a child’s life. 

Rickie Shaw talks on the video about the inmates and how he can see them start to process the information in the class. He says:

I can see the wheels start turning in their head...they start to bring back conversations that they've had with their mates through letters and visitations. They start processing things that happened in their past with their moms and dads when they were kids. They're looking for answers and solutions to things that shaped their lives That's when I know I'm being effective.

Rickie continues discussing the biggest misconception about the inmates he works with:

The biggest misconception about inmates is that whatever got them here, they have to be punished and no rehabilitation. I think the original thought behind imprisoning someone was that they would have the time to rehabilitate—maybe change the behaviors that got them bars. Classes like InsideOut Dad® and GED programs and various drug abuse programs and domestic violence classes, those are the rehabilitative devices that are definitely needed in a place like this so that they can come out with skills that they didn't have when they came in. I see this as a true opportunity to help rehabilitate someone and help put them in a better place.

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Two separate attendees had this to say about the InsideOut Dad® Program:

"I can say I've learned a lot since I've been in the class. I'm thankful for him (Rickie) coming. Whoever made this program up, it's a good help, a real good help." —InsideOut® Dad Attendee

"I'm happy with the topics we discuss. I think it's [InsideOut Dad® Program] gonna help me when I get out to be a better father and better husband." —InsideOut® Attendee

I don't live or have family in Jacksonville, Florida. But, I sure hope that if you or someone you know is behind bars, they have access to someone like Rickie and NFI's program. This kind of education may just be more valuable and life changing than a college degree.

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Download the free sample > InsideOut Dad®


InsideOut Dad® is the nation's only evidence-based fatherhood program designed specifically for incarcerated fathers.

Announcing 24/7 Dad® 3rd Edition > See What's New and Save $200 During the Pre-Sale!

Developed by parenting and fatherhood experts, 24/7 Dad® A.M. and P.M. teaches men the characteristics they need to be good fathers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Used by a wide variety of fatherhood leaders and fatherhood organizations across the country, research shows 24/7 Dad® successfully changes fathers’ attitudes, knowledge, and skills. And now, with research-based enhancements and additions, our flagship fatherhood program is even better than ever in its 3rd Edition!

24/7 Dad® remains based on a philosophy that supports the growth and development of fathers and children as caring, compassionate people who treat themselves, others, and the environment with respect and dignity. This philosophical basis of caring and compassion forms the underlying structure that constitutes the values taught in the 24/7 Dad® A.M. and P.M. programs. Each 24/7 Dad® Program consists of 12 group-based sessions that build on each other and cover a variety of fathering topics - from family history and what it means to be a man, to communication and dealing with anger.

24/7 Dad® 3rd Edition takes the A.M. and P.M. programs to the next level with enhanced content and activities, the addition of an optional introductory session, video integration, a complementary mobile app, and more!

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Here are 10 enhancements to 24/7 Dad® 3rd Edition:


1) More Engaging Content with Video to Increase Dads' Engagement
The addition of more than 30 videos to each program (more than 60 videos combined) means it's more engaging for dads and enhances their learning. We also added over 10 “Stories of Impact"—which are videos facilitators can use to motivate fathers to stay in the program. These stories show the impact of the programs on diverse fathers in diverse settings across the country.

2) More Evidence-Based and Evidence-Informed Content for Habit-Formation and Motivation
NFI staff constantly monitor the latest research and evaluations of fathering and parenting interventions, as well as, evidence from the behavioral and social sciences fields on strategies and tactics that positively influence behavior. The 3rd Edition integrates research and evidence on habit formation and motivation that will help you increase dads’ motivation to be involved in their children’s lives and develop and sustain the habits of an involved, responsible, committed father.

3) The My 24/Dad® Checklist Encourages Dads to Develop Positive Fathering Habits
Research shows the use of checklists increases individuals’ ability to ingrain pro-social habits through deliberate practice. The primary content addition in the 3rd Edition is the My 24/Dad® Checklist, a powerful tool integrated into each session that helps dads develop the habits of an involved, responsible, committed father. This checklist encourages dads to identify actions, based on what they learn during each session, that they can take on a periodic basis (i.e. daily, weekly, monthly, and one time) to increase their engagement with their children. We created versions of the checklist in hard copy, online, and mobile versions for use during the program and after it ends.

4) The FREE 24/7 Dad® To Go Android App Allows Dads to go Mobile with their Fathering Checklist
We produced a mobile version of the My 24/Dad® Checklist that dads can install on their smart phones to use on an ongoing basis—extending the impact of the program. The app allows dads to customize time-sensitive checklists of to-do items related to involved, responsible, and committed fatherhood. The app also includes links to information on NFI’s website (www.fatherhood.org) keeping dads connected to the latest practical advice and guidance on how to be a 24/7 Dad. Access it at the Google Play store for free.

5) ALL Program-Related Materials for Dads Now Provided in Spanish on the CD-ROM
The updated CD-ROM includes all worksheets and evaluation tools for Dads in Spanish (not previously available). And as always, fathering handbooks in Spanish can be purchased separately.

6) Optional Introductory Session on the CD-ROM Eases Fathers Into the Program
This optional session also helps facilitators learn more about the dads that comprise each unique group, including what motivated them to enroll and what will motivate them to continue coming back.

7) Pocket Reference Cards Inside Every Fathering Handbook Lets Dads Keep a Reminder Handy
New Pocket Reference Cards remind dads of The Characteristics of a 24/7 Dad and also offer 10 Affirmations to Give to their Kids. A helpful tool for use beyond the program sessions!

8) Information on the 24/7 Dad® Framework in the New Program Guide
For facilitators interested in learning more about the behavior change theories that underlie the programs and researchers interested in further evaluating the impact of the programs, the new Program Guide in the improved Facilitator’s Manuals describes the behavioral theories that create the overall framework upon which we built the programs.

9) Improved Session Guide Continues to Make Facilitation Easy
We included changes that will help facilitators completely integrate the improvements to the programs.

10) More Practitioner Input Simply Makes the Program Even Better
NFI designed the first editions and second editions with input from practitioners who facilitate fatherhood programs.

  • NFI continued to use practitioner feedback to create the third editions by gathering ongoing feedback from 24/7 Dad® facilitators across the country who work with a diversity of fathers, particularly low-income, nonresidential and/or non-custodial fathers.
  • NFI staff has also conducted training institutes for more than 1,100 organizations on how to use the programs. Practitioners provided feedback on the curriculum during these institutes that NFI incorporated into the third editions.

Save $200 NOW through February 5th!

247Dad_AM__11347Be sure to take advantage of our pre-sale pricing through February 5th. Get the entire 24/7 Dad® 3rd Edition A.M. or P.M. Curriculum Kit for just $449 ($200 less than the regular price of $649)!

Each Curriculum Kit Includes everything you need to facilitate the program “out-of-box”:

  • Facilitator’s Manual with Program Guide
  • 10 Fathering Handbooks with Pocket Cards the dads can keep (also available in Spanish!)
  • CD-ROM with an evaluation tool, marketing resources, and worksheets for the dads (all materials for fathers Spanish too!)
  • DVD with videos to enhance program delivery

Click here to learn more about 24/7 Dad® AM and 24/7 Dad® PM.

Click here to register for a free webinar on January 20 or 21 with NFI President Christopher Brown to learn more about 24/7 Dad® 3rd Edition!  

NFI's Top 20 Blog Posts of All Time

Fatherhood Changes Everything...We repeated this line all year. It's why NFI was created in 1994. This year is an extra-special year because we turned 20 years old. So, you'll find in this post our top-performing posts "of all time" - or at least since we've been tracking views!

20th_Anniv_NFI_LogoI've written for The Father Factor since early 2012, and I can tell you, we've seen steady growth and engagement from our readers each year. We are grateful to serve you with this blog for fatherhood leaders on tips and tools you need to help you and the dads around you. Thank you for reading and sharing our posts!

Here are the top 20 blog posts of all time: 

1) The Father Absence Crisis in America [Infographic] (11/12/13)
24 million children in America grow up without their father at home. Share this infographic and help connect father to child.

2) An Open Letter From a Dad to His Son on His 18th Birthday (12/19/13)
Richard Beaty writes an open letter to his son on turning 18 years old. It's worth a read from all fathers.

3) The Difference Between a Man and a Boy (6/1/12)
New research on the demise of guys and raising boys to become men by Philip Zimbardo reveals more about the issue of father absence.

4) 4 Great Resources for Single Dads (7/12/13)
New research reveals the rise of single father households. Now what? We offer suggestions for single fathers on the blog.

5) Coverage of Celebrity Deaths Always Misses the Mark (2/3/14)
The passing of Philip Seymour Hoffman is sad, but the coverage of celebrity deaths tends to miss the mark when it comes to fathers.

6) 10 Ways To Be a Better Dad (7/2/14)
Today you have a chance to start on a new path. Try these 10 ways to be a better dad. If you're already a great dad, you're welcome for the reminder!

7) 8 Things To Know About Disciplining Your Child (10/31/12)
Discipline means “to teach; to guide.” Punishment means to “penalize” for doing something wrong. Let's get this correct.

8) The Affects of an Emotionally Unavailable Dad (5/6/14)
Elizabeth writes about growing up with a dad at home but emotionally unavailable. Read her story and consider how your dad shaped your view of fatherhood.

9) 5 Questions Every Father Should Ask Himself (10/8/12)
Every child deserves a 24/7 Dad. Here are five questions to ask yourself in order help you become the responsible father you are meant to be.

10) The Challenge of Becoming a Single Father (3/4/14)
Read from one dad's experiences about the challenges (and rewards) of becoming a single father.

11) The Surprising Facts about Payments of Child Support (6/5/14)
Christopher Brown writes about child support and gender on The Father Factor Blog.

12) 5 Ways to be a Horrible Dad (1/22/13)
There are five things every horrible father does. Do them all and you can be a horrible dad too. It's simple, really!

13) Is Your Child a Match or a Torch? (6/4/12)
This post covers different child temperaments from a father's point of view raising a toddler.

14) 7 Things a Great Dad Knows (1/15/13)
Need help being a great dad? We have "7 Things Every Great Dad Knows."

15) 5 Father's Day Commercials that May Make You Shed Man Tears (6/14/13)
We have our picks for the top Father's Day commercials worthy of creating man tears. Thanks for getting fatherhood right brands!

16) 6 Tips on How to Show Your Child Reading is Awesome (3/14/14)
Get six ideas for creating a love of reading in your child and see the new video from LeVar Burton for Read Across America.

17) 3 Rules for Communicating with Your Child (10/17/12)
I say we stop calling “communication” by its name. Let’s call it “racing.” Here are 3 rules for communicating with your child.

18) What's Missing in the Adrian Peterson Story? (9/23/14)
There's a couple of things missing from the Adrian Peterson child abuse allegations. We discuss fatherhood and discipline on today's post.

19) 5 Flu-Fighting Foods for Families (2/7/13)
Get 5 ideas of foods that help fight the flu for your family!

20) Fathers Behind Bars: The Problem & Solution for America's Children [Infographic] (10/16/14)
Ninety-two percent (92%) of parents in prison are fathers. Read Fathers Behind Bars, The Problem and Solution for America's Children [Infographic].

Here are a few thoughts related to these top 20 posts: 

  • You like numbered lists. 9 of the top 20 are numbered lists. This is good because we like step-by-step lists too! They serve as helpful and easily shareable posts for you to either help yourself or help the dads around you.
  • You care about our mission. Most of these top 20 posts, nay all of the posts, relate directly back to our mission of connecting father to family. Two of the top 20 posts are infographics about the father absence crisis and about fathers in prison. Each of the 20 posts are in someway geared toward helping you be a better fatherhood leader. 
  • You want to be a better leader and/or dad. Most of this list is how-to's related to health, communication, co-parenting, and discipline. Each of these posts point back to how a dad can connect to his child.

2014 was a great year for this blog. I can’t wait to see what 2015 brings! We plan on constantly educating, equipping, and inspiring you to be a better fatherhood leader…because every child deserves a great dad.

Please note, as readers of this lovely blog, one way we are able to offer the weekly posts, the daily social media, and all of the helpful (and free) downloads are because of donations from generous folks like yourself. Please consider donating before the end of 2014. You have a few hours left to give—plenty of time to make a few clicks and donate!

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Question: What's your favorite post from us? Why? What topic(s) would you like to see us cover on this blog in 2015?

New Jersey Legislators to Establish Responsible Fatherhood Initiative

New Jersey legislators recently passed an important bill that will prove vital to fathers and families. NFI has worked for years in this state and applauds the legislators' decision to help connect father to child.

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New Jersey Legislation voted yes to a “Responsible Fatherhood Initiative” in New Jersey geared toward strengthening the development of children throughout the state by promoting the positive involvement of both parents in their lives.The bill passed the Assembly and was recently released by the Senate Health, Human Services and Senior Citizens Committee.

“There are many different factors that might inhibit a father’s involvement in their children’s life,” said Singleton (D-Burlington). “Whether it’s a strain in the relationship with a child’s mother, somebody who never had a positive male role model in their life as a child, or simply somebody who hasn’t learned to take responsibility, the goal of this initiative is to promote positive interactions between fathers and their children and identify obstacles that impede or prevent their involvement in the lives of their children.

The bill (A-945) will:

  • establish a 21-member New Jersey Council on Responsible Fatherhood in the Department of Children and Families in order to promote the participation of both parents in the lives of their children,
  • identify needs and priorities relating to fatherhood programs in the state, and
  • support the contributions each parent brings to the family unit.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, about half of all children spend some part of their life apart from one or both of their parents, and most often the parent who does not live with the child is the father. “There are a number of factors that may impact a father’s ability or willingness to participate in their child’s life,” said Lampitt (D-Camden/Burlington). “For those who grew up without a positive male role model in their life, things like counseling and mentoring can make all the difference and hopefully produce happier, more well-adjusted children.”

“Fatherhood is one of the greatest responsibilities a person can have and it is certainly not one to be taken lightly,” said Schaer (D-Bergen/Passaic). “Whenever fathers can be encouraged and supported to develop and maintain more meaningful relationships with their children, the outcome can only result in benefits to our society.”

“This is not a responsibility that can be forced, but one that can be learned if a father is willing,” said Wimberly (D-Bergen/Passaic). “We see more and more young fathers who grew up without somebody to model this role for them. As a father of four school-aged sons with a very hectic schedule, I still find the time to be at their football, baseball, basketball, parent teacher conferences, and other activities. I believe with some help and guidance, they can mature into a positive influence in their child’s life.”

The bill requires the council to:

  • direct the development and implementation of a Responsible Fatherhood Initiative;
  • develop a comprehensive plan that identifies the needs and priorities relating to fatherhood programs in the state and promotes the positive involvement of fathers in their children's lives;
  • serve as an information and resource center for data and information on fatherhood programs;
  • review the programs, policies, and initiatives of various state departments and community-based organizations that concern responsible fatherhood, and
  • make recommendations to the departments and organizations on ways to better coordinate and improve the effectiveness of their programs, policies and initiatives.

The initiative will be responsible for the development of:

  • a public awareness campaign;
  • an information and support network for fathers trying to foster relationships with their children;
  • and plans to identify and promote methods that reduce the negative outcomes experienced by children affected by divorce, legal separation, and custody and visitation disputes.

For years, NFI has helped state and local agencies assess their own and their partners’ (e.g. grantees’ and community-based organizations') readiness to engage fathers and build capacity to serve fathers with customized strategies, and to mobilize states, counties, and cities to promote father involvement. We're thrilled that one example of this work was a Fatherhood Program Camp hosted by NFI in 2012 with the New Jersey Department of Children and Families (NJDCF). You can read the full case study here.

The NJDCF was seeking to strengthen the state’s services to fathers, as they had not been serving fathers in a comprehensive, cross-divisional manner. They also needed a systematic way to more effectively measure the impact of fatherhood programming across the state. NFI was contracted to help address these fatherhood service challenges by:

  • Conducting a Father Friendly Check-Up® (FFCU) workshop to help practitioners assess the father friendliness of their locations, and make action plans to facilitate accountability and follow through on specific tasks.
  • Providing each state office with a 24/7 Dad® Complete Program kit and facilitator training on how to successfully deliver the program in their communities, as well as follow-up technical assistance to ensure effectiveness.
  • Implementing standardized evaluation tools allowing each office and provider to effectively measure the impact of fatherhood programming.

NFI is pleased to have left a legacy of nearly 200 New Jersey state organizations and providers using the same fatherhood program to more effectively reach and serve fathers, allowing for continued peer learning and best practice sharing. As a result of the project, NFI garnered further interest from other divisions within the Department of Children and Families to engage their own staff and constituents around responsible fatherhood.

In closing, I wanted to make sure you knew about this great news from New Jersey. We applaud the legislative leaders in New Jersey for seeking to be part of the solution in their state. You can also checkout the FatherSOURCE locator for organizations that already serve fathers in New Jersey, or download the Fatherhood Program Case Study for New Jersey. 

Visit our State and Local Agency Fatherhood Programs page for more information on NFI state agency offerings.

 

Fatherhood Begins at Conception

“Motherhood Begins at Conception”. This was a bumper sticker I saw for sale at an exhibit booth at the CareNet conference in Orlando, Florida several years ago.  It was my first CareNet conference and I was invited to accompany my colleague to help at the NFI exhibit booth. 

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Of course, coming from an organization called National Fatherhood Initiative, I asked the other booth attendant if they had a sticker saying “Fatherhood Begins at Conception”? The attendant kind of stumbled and said no, they hadn’t thought of that, but that if I wanted, she was sure I could get the company to manufacture one.

As I meandered around the exhibit hall, I was taken by the fact that there were very few - okay, only one other exhibit that had a reference to fathers. And, to my knowledge there was only one workshop offered that addressed fathers or fatherhood that year. These findings made me sad, and I knew something had to change. A child needs both parents in their lives, and they do much better physically and emotionally when dad is involved right from the start.

That’s why I’m happy to report that I’ve seen an evolution of sorts in the last few years when it comes to addressing the importance of fathers within Pregnancy Resource Centers (PRC’s). Obviously, Roland Warren’s role at CareNet has created a clearer focus on fathers within PRC’s. But more so, I have a sense that the centers themselves are also embracing the idea of whole family, and coming alongside not just the moms during the pregnancy, but the dads as well. Thrilling!

As I reflect over the last couple years, change has truly been in the air. In 2013, NFI provided a free webinar PRC’s on the Frontlines of Fatherhood, and in 2014, NFI offered another free webinar, Pregnancy Centers and Dads, Intense Work! - Both well attended by PRC’s. Further, NFI was invited to conduct 2 workshops at the 2013 CareNet Conference, and in 2014 NFI provided an Advanced Track training for Doctor Dad®, as well as a fatherhood panel discussion workshop (we were part of a full fatherhood track with several fatherhood related offerings in every set of sessions.) Again, thrilling!

With the increased volume in pregnancy center calls/email, NFI created a web-link specifically for PRC’s with suggested resources, and in 2013, NFI and CareNet entered into a formal partnership providing specific resources for their centers and a discount for CareNet affiliates. It has been wonderful to see these two impactful organizations - both with excellent missions - joining forces to improve the well-being of children across the nation.

On a personal note, I recently had the chance to see fathers engaged in a local pregnancy center in which my husband and I volunteer. The center’s regular fatherhood volunteer suddenly became ill, and my husband was asked, at the last minute no less, to fill in. I equipped him with NFI’s downloadable resource, 17 Critical Issues to Discuss With Dads, to give him a simple resource to use to engage the guys that night. 

But alas, there were no dads that first night. However on the second night there was one, and on the third night there were two waiting for him when we arrived! My husband’s commented on this resource as “genius” because he can conversationally insert a topic and the dads respond and conversations are started. I use this example to say that many NFI resources can be suited to any father interaction, whether one-on-one or in a group situation. And as you can see from first hand experience, a person does not need extensive training to help fathers/fathers-to-be. Just a willing heart and a helpful tool to guide the conversation! This goes to show: if you are a PRC who has a committed, willing volunteer, who is committed, along with a solid resource (whether a brochure, discussion guide or full-blown training program) – you can reach fathers. 

As always, please feel free to reach out to me for ideas on reaching fathers through pregnancy centers: Ave Mulhern, amulhern@fatherhood.org, 240-912-1265.

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Fatherhood Leader > Learn the 17 Critical Issues to Discus with Dads

 

When Dad's in Jail: How Team Dad is Helping Tennessee Families

For hundreds of families around East Tennessee, it's tough when dad's in jail. The sad thing is, it can be tougher once dad's out of jail. What are we doing to help dads be ready to be good dads once released? Hiliary Magacs shows us one program in Cocke County, Tennessee that's working to rehabilitate dads from the inside out.

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Hiliary Magacs (@wvlthilary) reporting for WVLT Local 8 News on a program in East Tennessee called Team Dad who is helping fathers in jail be ready to father once released.

The Sheriff's Office has partnered with Team Dad to help men find housing and jobs, so they can be the kind of dads their kids need them to be. The program is offered in connection with the Douglas-Cherokee Economic Authority, Inc. and serves men in six East Tennessee counties: Hamblen, Cocke, Grainger, Jefferson, Sevier & Monroe.

Travis Stewart is serving time for burglary and theft. He has a 12 year old son. Watch the video and you will hear Travis say what he's learning from NFI's InsideOut Dad® program. He says, "It's something I need to do to learn how to be responsible for my child and lead by example. The things I do reflects on his image."

Case managers for the program use workbooks, movies and discussions to help men learn how to communicate with their kids and the mothers of their children. "A lot of men close down and don't want to talk about feelings or their problems to other people...but when they're in here, they really do open up and talk about the issues they've had..." says Desiree Drinnon (Case Manager).

Learning to open up and talk about the issues is vital for Drew Whitlock, who is working to be the father his kids need. "I've got two girls one 16 and one 13...their mother overdosed beside me in the bed last year and I'm just trying to pick up the pieces," says Drew Whitlock (Participant in the InsideOut Dad® Program).

Besides parenting skills, Team Dad helps men in other ways, like connecting them with legal services for custody problems. The program also helps the men update their resumes and find jobs when they get out of jail. "We can put in a good word to the employers for the guys so they can get a chance to have an open door and start working again..." says Sam Escobales (Outreach Worker).

"The thing with most inmates is when they come in, they don't have nothing afterwards, you know, you can go back to the streets or you can try to find help..." says Craig Campbell. The help doesn't stop when the men walk out of the program. The dads can rely on Team Dad for as long as they need to. "Every class I tell them, now if you get out and your electric bill needs to be paid don't go kick in your neighbors door and steal their TV to sell for your electric bill. Come call me and we'll find someplace to help you..." says, Desiree Drinnon (Case Manager).

Recent graduates of the program say it's helped them a lot. For instance, Cody Moon (program graduate) says, "It's taught me better ways to budget my money for my kids and take care my kids and is teaching me better ways to treat the mother of my children."

Travis Shaver has learned when it comes to his children, "...you have to be there to provide for them, show them love and affection...it's the small things is what it is."

Sheriff Armando Fontes (Cocke County Sheriff's Office) is proud of how Team Dad has created stronger families in the community. He says, "It's called positive reinforcement, we help give them skills and abilities that they can take back home with them to better their lives and to better take care of their children."

Rodney Willingham (program graduate) reflects on his time attending the program and says, "I'm grateful that I got a chance to be in this program. I'm going to follow it up once I get out."

In eight months of operation, more than 50 men have graduated from Team Dad in Cocke County. The program is also offered in the Monroe County jail and organizers are hoping to expand to other jails in the future. Here's a picture from a recent graduating class of Team Dad:

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IODGTFT

Get your free sample download > 
InsideOut Dad® Guide to Family Ties


What's Inside the Guide?

  • Purpose and Parts of the Guide
  • Part 1: What to Expect - Your Children, Your Children’s Mother, What You Should Do
  • Part 2: Assess Yourself as Dad and Partner - The Ideal, The Real, The Deal
  • Part 3: Getting and staying in touch - With Your Children’s Mother, With Your Children, Become an Expert on Your Children, Become a “Long Distance” Coach, Ways to Get and Stay in Touch
  • Part 4: Create a reentry plan - Your Reentry Plan, Your Role in the Family, Bad Feelings, Gatekeepers, New Father Figures
The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Child

We Don’t Mind Hiding Behind Your Fatherhood Program Success

As an organization whose main business is to create and sell fatherhood programs to organizations across the country, you can image how many community agencies are using our fatherhood programs such as 24/7 Dad® and InsideOut Dad®. (When I say business, I really mean that is how we accomplish our mission as a non-profit organization.) More often than not, when an organization purchases one of our fatherhood programs, they incorporate the curriculum into a larger initiative or approach to serving fathers (we call this “wrap around services”.)

Video-Cam-Share-500Thus, the NFI brand, and even our program names, go overlooked/unmentioned. But we’re okay with that - we don’t mind hiding behind your success. Because that’s what we’re here to do: Create a world in which every child has a 24/7 Dad®. And we do it through you.


We don't run fatherhood classes and talk to dads everyday. We help organizations doing that very work across the country to be successful. We provide father absence and father involvement research that help justify an organization or state’s investment in father-focused programs. We write articles on father engagement and how to be a better dad. And we love to hear about how our various fatherhood curricula are a foundational piece of family and societal “puzzles” being pieced together across the country. You are the stars that bring our curricula to life! Thank you for that.

Occasionally we browse YouTube for stories of impact – organizations sharing their fatherhood initiative successes. And often, we find within those stories, nuggets of gold – along with the use of one of our fatherhood programs. Sometimes the actual curriculum name is mentioned, other times it is not (but we have a staff person who helped that very organization build their fatherhood initiative) – and it makes us feel like proud parents! 

So as proud parents, I want to share a couple such videos with you today. You’re in for a treat. Children’s lives are being changed across the nation, one father at a time. And it’s never too late to start.

Do you use NFI curricula and have a video to share about your fatherhood initiative? Don’t be shy; be sure we know about it! Share your story and video here.

John R. Grubb YMCA Fatherhood Initiative
Des Moines, IA

Click here to learn more about their fatherhood offerings.


New Opportunities, Inc. Fatherhood Initiative
Part of the John S. Martinez Fatherhood Initiative of Connecticut

Click here to learn more about their fatherhood offerings.

Do you use NFI curricula and have a video to share about your fatherhood initiative? Don’t be shy; be sure we know about it! Share your story and video here.

Click here to share your story

The Father Factor Blog > Where Fatherhood Leaders Go To Learn.

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