--- title: 350 Practitioners on the Challenge of Maternal Gatekeeping description: We have feedback from 350 fatherhood practitioners on the challenge of maternal gatekeeping. Learn more in this post. image: https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hub/135704/file-1988032076.jpg --- [Skip to main content](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/350-practitioners-on-the-challenge-of-maternal-gatekeeping#main) - [![NFI mark](https://www.fatherhood.org/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI%20mark.svg)FATHERHOOD.ORG](https://www.fatherhood.org/) - [STORE.FATHERHOOD.ORG](https://store.fatherhood.org/) [![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=149&height=82&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=119&height=65&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=119&height=66&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=89&height=49&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ](https://www.fatherhood.org) - [How To Build Strong Families](https://www.fatherhood.org/build-strong-families) - [Why Father Inclusion Matters](https://www.fatherhood.org/why-father-inclusion-matters) - Show submenu for Get Involved Get Involved - [Fatherhood Programs](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/programs-and-resources) - [Train Your Staff](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/staff-training) - [State, County, and City Agency Services](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/collaborative-services) Open main navigation Close main navigation - Show submenu for Get Informed Get Informed - [How To Build Strong Families](https://www.fatherhood.org/build-strong-families) - [Why Father Inclusion Matters](https://www.fatherhood.org/why-father-inclusion-matters) - [Father Stats & Infographics](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic) - Show submenu for Get Involved Get Involved - [Fatherhood Programs](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/programs-and-resources) - [Train Your Staff](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/staff-training) - [State, County, and City Agency Services](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/collaborative-services) - Show submenu for Get Started Get Started - [Find Your Stage of Father Inclusion](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-inclusion) - [How Father Friendly Is Your Organization?](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-friendly) - [Get In Touch](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) [Store](https://store.fatherhood.org/?hsLang=en) [Get In Touch](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) [Store](https://store.fatherhood.org/?hsLang=en) Show submenu for Get Started Get Started - [Fatherhood Data & Statistics](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic) - [How Father Friendly is Your Organization?](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-friendly) - [Other Free Resources](https://www.fatherhood.org/nfi-free-resources) - [Talk With us to Get Started](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) National Fatherhood Initiative Blog / [Latest Articles](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood) [NFI-Specific Programs & Resources](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/topic/nfi-specific-programs-resources) # 350 Practitioners on the Challenge of Maternal Gatekeeping 2 min read ![Christopher A. Brown](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/Images/chris_circle_icon.png?width=100&height=100&name=chris_circle_icon.png) [** Christopher A. Brown ** ](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/author/christopher-a-brown) Chris serves as the President of National Fatherhood Initiative® (NFI), where he is responsible for overseeing the development and implementation of NFI's strategic plan and business model, as well as its operations and fundraising efforts. Have you ever struggled to convince a mother to allow the father of her child to be more involved in the child's life? Maternal gatekeeping is one of the primary challenges practitioners face when encouraging moms to allow dads into their children's lives. Maternal gatekeeping refers to a mom’s protective beliefs about the desirability of a dad's involvement in their child’s life, and the behaviors acted upon that either facilitate or hinder effective co-parenting. Maternal gatekeeping occurs regardless of whether parents are married, divorced or unmarried, and regardless of the parents’ satisfaction with the relationship between them. But, clearly, it presents the greatest challenge when the relationship between the parents is poor. **![102814blog-1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hub/135704/file-1988032076.jpg?width=300&name=file-1988032076.jpg)350 Practitioners Speak Out** NFI surveyed more than 350 practitioners who attended NFI's free [What's Mom Got to Do With It webinar](https://youtu.be/mLUMNIYXask) on December 9th, 2014, and asked them the following question related to maternal gatekeeping: **What are the most important problems the moms you work with have with involving dads in their children's lives?** (To access a recorded version of the webinar, click [here](http://youtu.be/mLUMNIYXask).) The most important problems (in descending order of importance) are: - History of domestic violence or other abuse - Poor past or current experiences with/perceptions of the dad - Mom doesn't like dad or is angry with him - Mom doesn't see dad as important in the life of her child - Dad isn't a good parent - Mom doesn't want to give up control over the life of her child (i.e. if dad becomes involved, she perceives she'll lose control) - Mom has no contact/relationship with the dad The research on maternal gatekeeping supports these practitioners' experiences. The motivations for maternal gatekeeping vary widely. They depend on individual, couple, and familial circumstances and situations. Mothers might have a difficult time relinquishing familial responsibility, might want to validate their identity as “the mother” and garner recognition for their “maternal” or “feminine” contributions to the family, or might view the father as incompetent or even dangerous to the child. This latter view might be based either on actual evidence, the father’s past behaviors, or her personal perceptions of him and his failures in the male familial role.  **Helping Practitioners ** One of our primary jobs at NFI is to help practitioners to more effectively do their jobs. Accordingly, we asked those same 350 practitioners the following question related to how to help moms involve fathers: **What are the two most important topics moms need help with around involving dads?** The biggest topics (also in descending order of importance) are: - Why dad is important to their child's life  - Communication - Co-Parenting - Importance of putting the well-being of the child first - How to trust dad - Mutual respect (i.e. important of mom respecting dad and vice versa) - How to keep the dad engaged - Conflict resolution The good news is NFI already has a number of low-, medium-, and high-intensity resources that address these and other challenges presented by maternal gatekeeping (e.g. the impact of the mother's history with men and her own father). These resources include the [Understanding Dad™](https://store.fatherhood.org/understanding-dad-complete-program-kit/) program, [Mom as Gateway™](https://store.fatherhood.org/fathertopics-workshop-mom-as-gateway-downloadable/) workshop, [downloadable eguides](https://store.fatherhood.org/downloadable-guides), [pocketbooks](https://store.fatherhood.org/for-moms-a-pocketbook-full-of-ways-to-communicate-with-dad/), and [tip cards](https://store.fatherhood.org/10-tips-on-co-parenting) for moms. And we've already started to identify additional resources to develop that will help practitioners address the other issues because, well, that's our job and commitment to practitioners: Supporting You. Supporting Fathers. Supporting Families.™ Stay tuned.  **Have you reviewed our resources that address maternal gatekeeping?** ** **   Date Published: 02/17/2015 Last Updated: 11/05/2020 ## Learn How to Build a Fatherhood Program That Works Download this free guide for a proven 7-step roadmap—from making the case and securing funding for your program, to launching and measuring real results! 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