--- title: How to Protect Your Marriage from Parental Erosion description: Marriages cannot be lived in the neutral zone. You are either growing together or apart. image: https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/file-17546004-jpg/images/blogmarriage072712-resized-600.jpg --- [Skip to main content](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/bid/151511/how-to-protect-your-marriage-from-parental-erosion#main) - [![NFI mark](https://www.fatherhood.org/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI%20mark.svg)FATHERHOOD.ORG](https://www.fatherhood.org/) - [STORE.FATHERHOOD.ORG](https://store.fatherhood.org/) [![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=149&height=82&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=119&height=65&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=119&height=66&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=89&height=49&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ](https://www.fatherhood.org) - [How To Build Strong Families](https://www.fatherhood.org/build-strong-families) - [Why Father Inclusion Matters](https://www.fatherhood.org/why-father-inclusion-matters) - Show submenu for Get Involved Get Involved - [Fatherhood Programs](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/programs-and-resources) - [Train Your Staff](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/staff-training) - [State, County, and City Agency Services](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/collaborative-services) Open main navigation Close main navigation - Show submenu for Get Informed Get Informed - [How To Build Strong Families](https://www.fatherhood.org/build-strong-families) - [Why Father Inclusion Matters](https://www.fatherhood.org/why-father-inclusion-matters) - [Father Stats & Infographics](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic) - Show submenu for Get Involved Get Involved - [Fatherhood Programs](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/programs-and-resources) - [Train Your Staff](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/staff-training) - [State, County, and City Agency Services](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/collaborative-services) - Show submenu for Get Started Get Started - [Find Your Stage of Father Inclusion](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-inclusion) - [How Father Friendly Is Your Organization?](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-friendly) - [Get In Touch](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) [Store](https://store.fatherhood.org/?hsLang=en) [Get In Touch](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) [Store](https://store.fatherhood.org/?hsLang=en) Show submenu for Get Started Get Started - [Fatherhood Data & Statistics](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic) - [How Father Friendly is Your Organization?](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-friendly) - [Other Free Resources](https://www.fatherhood.org/nfi-free-resources) - [Talk With us to Get Started](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) National Fatherhood Initiative Blog / [Latest Articles](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood) [Tips & Tricks](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/topic/tips-tricks) # How to Protect Your Marriage from Parental Erosion 2 min read ![Melissa Byers](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/Images/melissa_circle_icon.png?width=100&height=100&name=melissa_circle_icon.png) [** Melissa Byers ** ](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/author/melissa-byers) Melissa is the Chief Marketing Officer at National Fatherhood Initiative® (NFI). Melissa oversees the organization's marketing, communications, graphic design, and product fulfillment functions. ***This is a guest post by Jordan Richmond. If you want to guest post on this blog, email us [here](mailto:rsanders@fatherhood.org?subject=Guest%20blogging%20for%20NFI). *** *“A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.” –Woody Allen* On most mornings my wife gets up with the boys (we have 3 under age four) while I get ready for work. We have coffee together - well actually - in the same vicinity would be a better way to describe it. The boys are usually making a mess, crying, or fighting. We take turns refereeing. It’s chaotic, stressful, and a ton of fun. We’re like many families.  ![protect marriage nfi](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/file-17546004-jpg/images/blogmarriage072712-resized-600.jpg?width=300&name=blogmarriage072712-resized-600.jpg) But on a particular morning not long ago, Heather and I had a little extra time to reconnect. I could tell something was bothering her, so I tried asking some probing questions. Her responses surprised me. There were no major marital issues, but she was empty and overwhelmed. I appeared distant. We love each other, but it’s not always felt. Here are a few takeaways from that morning. **1) Don’t assume everything is alright. **Marriages cannot be lived in the neutral zone. You are either growing together or apart. If you’re not sure, and if you haven’t asked the hard questions in a while, I can confidently say you’re drifting apart. Address the issues now. **2) Give physical touch with no strings attached. **You know what I mean guys. Here’s the catch - even if you are just being sweet, she may not know it. If other areas of your marriage are suffering, your well-intentioned physical touch may be perceived as having a hidden motive. Don’t let resentment creep into your marriage. **3) Have regular date nights. **I’m a recovering failure in this department. Have a date - just because. Don’t make it an add-on to something else. Get a sitter, don’t talk about the kids, and court your wife again. No one will do it for you and it’s your fault if it doesn’t happen. Do it this week. **What advice would you give to dads trying to protect their marriage?**  ***This is a guest post by [Jordan Richmond](http://www.jordanrichmond.com/)**. Jordan is the worship pastor of Cayman Islands Baptist Church in beautiful Grand Cayman. Jordan is also a recording artist and family man. He and his wife Heather have been married 6 years and have 3 sons: Kal, Rees, and Zann. If you want to guest post on this blog, email us [here](mailto:rsanders@fatherhood.org?subject=Guest%20blogging%20for%20NFI). [Photo credit: [Poppy Wright](http://www.flickr.com/photos/poppywright/390292651/)]* Date Published: 07/27/2012 Last Updated: 06/11/2018 ## Learn How to Build a Fatherhood Program That Works Download this free guide for a proven 7-step roadmap—from making the case and securing funding for your program, to launching and measuring real results! [Get The Guide Now!](https://www.fatherhood.org/starting-a-fatherhood-program) ![7-steps-starting-a-fatherhood_program](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/Images/7-steps-starting-a-fatherhood_program.png?width=700&height=700&name=7-steps-starting-a-fatherhood_program.png) [ Previous ](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/bid/150678/Join-DadGames12-Twitter-Party-and-Win-Prizes-Tonight-9PM-EST) [ Next ](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/bid/151672/Co-Parenting-Through-Thick-and-Thin) ## Related Articles ### [Limited Blog Series: Supporting My Co-Parent Image created with GPT Image 2. Quick Confidence Builds are brief activities that practitioners can use when working with dads in face-to-face or virtual group-based or one-on-one ... Read More](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/supporting-my-co-parent) ### [Five Leadership Practices That Build Father-Inclusive Organizations Image created with GPT Image 2. 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