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20 Questions for Defining The Relationship

Posted by Melissa Byers

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Aug 3, 2012

Is there a difference between a "healthy relationship" and a "healthy marriage?" Roland C. Warren, president of National Fatherhood Initiative, recently published a column for The Washington Post discussing current trends related to marriage and relationships. He proposes couple's ask themselves "20 Questions" to define the relationship.

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In the article, Roland points out that the quality of the relationship between a child’s mother and father is one of the most important factors in determining how that child will do in life.

He sees an alarming trend in couples not seeing the importance to get married or understanding the difference between what some couples would call a "healthy relationship" and what makes a "healthy marriage?" Roland proposes that couples ask 20 questions that define the relationship in order to know the difference between a healthy marriage and a healthy relationship.

Roland writes, "At a time when marriage rates across the country are down and out-of-wedlock birthrates are at all-time highs, especially in the African American community, we must stop to consider how this trend of equating marriages and “relationships” is affecting children."

He continues, "The reality is that there is an enormous difference between a healthy relationship and a healthy marriage." As Roland points out, every couple eventually has to have that “define the relationship” conversation. This can be accomplished by asking a few thoughtful questions. Your answers to the questions may reveal something you didn't already know about your partner.

It's a problem if you never talk about your relationship status. However, the real problems arise when each partner already knows the answers to the questions, but isn't telling the other partner. It's time to have "the talk."

Read the full article by Roland C. Warren at The Washington Post or get the 20 Questions for Defining The Relationship.  

photo credit: Caucas'

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