--- title: "How to Effectively Engage Fathers: The 4th Competency" description: Learn the 4th competency of effectively engaging fathers and more about our Father Engagement Certificate™. image: https://www.fatherhood.org/hubfs/stressed-mom.jpg --- [Skip to main content](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/how-to-effectively-engage-fathers-the-4th-competency#main) - [![NFI mark](https://www.fatherhood.org/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI%20mark.svg)FATHERHOOD.ORG](https://www.fatherhood.org/) - [STORE.FATHERHOOD.ORG](https://store.fatherhood.org/) [![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=149&height=82&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=119&height=65&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=119&height=66&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ![NFI_logo_blue_left (1) 1](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/NFI-Assets/images/NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png?width=89&height=49&name=NFI_logo_blue_left%20(1)%201.png) ](https://www.fatherhood.org) - [How To Build Strong Families](https://www.fatherhood.org/build-strong-families) - [Why Father Inclusion Matters](https://www.fatherhood.org/why-father-inclusion-matters) - Show submenu for Get Involved Get Involved - [Fatherhood Programs](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/programs-and-resources) - [Train Your Staff](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/staff-training) - [State, County, and City Agency Services](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/collaborative-services) Open main navigation Close main navigation - Show submenu for Get Informed Get Informed - [How To Build Strong Families](https://www.fatherhood.org/build-strong-families) - [Why Father Inclusion Matters](https://www.fatherhood.org/why-father-inclusion-matters) - [Father Stats & Infographics](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic) - Show submenu for Get Involved Get Involved - [Fatherhood Programs](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/programs-and-resources) - [Train Your Staff](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/staff-training) - [State, County, and City Agency Services](https://www.fatherhood.org/solutions/collaborative-services) - Show submenu for Get Started Get Started - [Find Your Stage of Father Inclusion](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-inclusion) - [How Father Friendly Is Your Organization?](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-friendly) - [Get In Touch](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) [Store](https://store.fatherhood.org/?hsLang=en) [Get In Touch](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) [Store](https://store.fatherhood.org/?hsLang=en) Show submenu for Get Started Get Started - [Fatherhood Data & Statistics](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic) - [How Father Friendly is Your Organization?](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-friendly) - [Other Free Resources](https://www.fatherhood.org/nfi-free-resources) - [Talk With us to Get Started](https://www.fatherhood.org/get-started) National Fatherhood Initiative Blog / [Latest Articles](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood) [NFI-Specific Programs & Resources](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/topic/nfi-specific-programs-resources) # How to Effectively Engage Fathers: The 4th Competency 3 min read ![Christopher A. Brown](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/Images/chris_circle_icon.png?width=100&height=100&name=chris_circle_icon.png) [** Christopher A. Brown ** ](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/author/christopher-a-brown) Chris serves as the President of National Fatherhood Initiative® (NFI), where he is responsible for overseeing the development and implementation of NFI's strategic plan and business model, as well as its operations and fundraising efforts. Mom and dad don’t get along. Maybe they hate each other. Perhaps there is, unfortunately, a history of abuse in the relationship. Mom might not even realize that she restricts dad’s access to his children. Do any of these descriptions ring true in your work with fathers, mothers, families? ![stressed-mom](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/stressed-mom.jpg?width=599&name=stressed-mom.jpg) This post is the fourth in a weekly series in which I highlight the five core competencies you need to effectively engage fathers, and how you can develop each competency with NFI’s [Father Engagement CertificateTM (FEC)](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-engagement-certificate), an affordable on demand training that will help you develop those competencies. Click [here](https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/how-to-effectively-engage-fathers-the-1st-competency) to read the post on the **1st competency: How to Create a Father-Friendly Organization** Click [here](https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/how-to-effectively-engage-fathers-the-2nd-competency) to read the post on the **2nd competency: How to Design a Best Practice Fatherhood Program** Click [here](https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/how-to-effectively-engage-fathers-the-3rd-competency) to read last week’s post on the **3rd competency: How to Think Like a Marketer ** **Involving Moms in Promoting Father Involvement** Our country has a remarkable structure that addresses the health and well-being of women, mothers, and children. While there are certainly issues with that structure and areas for improvement, there’s no debate about the lack of a structure that addresses the well-being of men and fathers.  Unfortunately, fathers are most often the parent left out of the parenting equation when organizations implement parenting and family-strengthening programs. To be fair, fathers are often reluctant to avail themselves of these programs; nevertheless, organizations typically don’t make a concerted effort to reach them. Consequently, “parent” is a code word for “mom” from many fathers’ perspective. Organizations fail to speak directly to the needs and wants of fathers. Fatherhood programs can’t make the same mistake—that is, leave moms out of the equation when it comes to implementing a fatherhood program. But wait, you might say: What do moms have to do with implementing a fatherhood program? A lot.  Mothers are often the gatekeepers when it comes to fathers’ access to their children. Mothers can facilitate or hinder fathers’ involvement, particularly when fathers are non-residential or non-custodial. Even when mothers and fathers are romantically involved and living in the same home, mothers can unconsciously and unnecessarily restrict fathers’ access to their children. That’s why it’s vital that you learn how to go the extra mile and build the fourth competency in effectively engaging fathers in Session 4 of the Father Engagement Certificate training: ***How to Work with Moms to Encourage Father Involvement.*** This session covers the “why” and “how” to involving moms in encouraging father involvement. Learn about the “Five Aspects of Family Life” associated with father involvement, and how to use “intensity levels” to assess how you should approach involving moms. Also learn why training female staff to more effectively engage fathers is so important, and about a free resource from NFI that will help you train female staff to more effectively engage fathers. [![Click Here to Start Your Father Engagement Training](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/135704/fad59366-acb9-48e8-ab29-65a461806919.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/135704/fad59366-acb9-48e8-ab29-65a461806919) [![FEC_training_logo](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/FEC_training_logo.png?width=257&name=FEC_training_logo.png)](https://store.fatherhood.org/father-engagement-certificate) **Don’t delay. Click [here](http://store.fatherhood.org/father-engagement-certificate) to start the process of earning your Father Engagement Certificate™. ** **How much do you know about the impact of mothers in ability of the fathers you serve to be as involved as possible in the lives of their children?** **Do you know the typical behaviors associated with “restrictive gatekeeping?”**   **[![slider_FatherEngagement](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/slider_FatherEngagement.jpg?width=705&name=slider_FatherEngagement.jpg)](https://www.fatherhood.org/father-engagement-certificate)** *** ** ** Date Published: 06/23/2015 Last Updated: 11/10/2021 ## Learn How to Build a Fatherhood Program That Works Download this free guide for a proven 7-step roadmap—from making the case and securing funding for your program, to launching and measuring real results! [Get The Guide Now!](https://www.fatherhood.org/starting-a-fatherhood-program) ![7-steps-starting-a-fatherhood_program](https://www.fatherhood.org/hs-fs/hubfs/Images/7-steps-starting-a-fatherhood_program.png?width=700&height=700&name=7-steps-starting-a-fatherhood_program.png) [ Previous ](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/hotelt2trailer) [ Next ](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/how-to-effectively-engage-fathers-the-5th-competency) ## Related Articles ### [Five Leadership Practices That Build Father-Inclusive Organizations Image created with GPT Image 2. Creating a father-inclusive organization doesn't happen through a new but isolated fatherhood program, staff training on how to include fathers, or ... Read More](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/five-leadership-practices-that-build-father-inclusive-organizations) ### [Beyond Graduation: Keeping Fathers Connected Image created with GPT Image 2. Many organizations do a good job recruiting fathers and helping them complete a fatherhood program. But what happens after the program ends? How do ... Read More](https://www.fatherhood.org/championing-fatherhood/beyond-graduation-keeping-fathers-connected) ### [Funding A Father-Inclusive Effort For Non-Governmental Organizations Image created with GPT Image 2. Many non-governmental organizations (NGOs) struggle to identify funding sources for fatherhood initiatives and programs. After all, beyond the ... 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