Limited Blog Series: The Power of Accountability in Fathering

Quick Confidence Builds are brief activities that practitioners can use when working with dads in face-to-face or virtual group-based or one-on-one settings. (The group-based version is described first.) Practitioners can download a PDF of each activity for their use and to share with others. These activities help build fathering confidence, a vital factor influencing dads’ involvement in their children’s lives. Dads only need pen and paper to write down information when instructed. The practitioner needs only something to record on when instructed, such as a flip chart or whiteboard when working with dads face-to-face or a virtual whiteboard or chat when working with them virtually. Estimated times include reflection, discussion, and facilitator feedback. The exact timing will depend on many factors, such as facilitator experience and skill, the size of a group, how comfortable dads are in sharing their experiences and ideas, and their commitment to growing in their fathering.

Source: The activities are inspired by The 24:7 Dad: 12 Habits of Confident Fathers by NFI President Christopher A. Brown. Visit confidentfathers.com to learn more about the book released on June 2, 2026!

Quick Confidence Build: Who Will Hold Me Accountable?
Time: 20-25 minutes (group-based); 10-15 minutes (one-on-one)

The Goal: To help dads identify a fathering commitment and choose someone to hold them accountable for following through.

Why This Matters: When dads ask others to hold them accountable, they’re more likely to follow through—and that follow-through builds confidence over time.

The Activity (Group-Based)

Step 1: Accountability Experience (5 minutes) 

SAY: Think back to a time when someone held you accountable to follow through on a commitment.

(Give them time to think.)

ASK: What did they hold you accountable for, and did it help you follow through on that commitment?

(Discuss the reasons for why it did or didn’t help them follow through.)

Step 2: Accountability’s Power (1 minute)

SAY: The power of being held accountable comes from the expectation that if you don’t follow through, you know someone will check in and expect you to follow through.

Step 3: Choose a Commitment (6 minutes)

(Put them in pairs for this step.)

SAY: Being held accountable for commitments related to being a better father will help you follow through on those commitments. Work with your partner for the next four minutes to pick one specific action you’ll take this week to be a better father. Each of you can choose the same action or a different one.

(Have the pairs report back. Record their actions. Encourage others to write down commitments they might want to eventually make.)

Step 4: Choose Someone to Hold You Accountable (6 minutes)

(Keep the pairs together for this step.)

SAY: Work with your partner for the next four minutes to identify someone you’ll ask to hold you accountable for your commitment. The person you’ll ask can be anyone—a friend, family member, or even your partner in this activity. Choose someone who will actually check in with you and be honest with you. Discuss why you chose to ask this person.

(Have as many pairs report back as you have time.)

Step 5: Commit to the Ask (5 minutes)

SAY: Work on your own for the next three minutes. Write down exactly what you’ll say to the person, how you’ll ask them, and when you’ll do it. Following through on this will help build your confidence as a father.

(Have as many share as time allows.)

The Activity (One-on-One)

Step 1: Accountability Experience (3 minutes)

SAY: Think back to a time when someone held you accountable to follow through on a commitment.

(Give him time to think.)

ASK: What did they hold you accountable for, and did it help you follow through on that commitment?

(Discuss the reasons for why it did or didn’t help him follow through.)

Step 2: Accountability’s Power (1 minute)

SAY: The power of being held accountable comes from the expectation that if you don’t follow through, you know someone will check in and expect you to follow through.

Step 3: Choose a Commitment (3 minutes)

SAY: Being held accountable for commitments related to being a better father will help you follow through on those commitments. Pick one specific action you’ll take this week to be a better father. Then share it with me.

(Explore why he chose the action instead of another one.)

Step 4: Choose Someone to Hold You Accountable (3 minutes)

SAY: Identify someone you’ll ask to hold you accountable for your commitment.

The person can be anyone, such as a friend, family member, co-worker, or another dad. Choose someone who will actually check in with you and be honest with you. Then share that person with me and why you chose them.

Step 5: Commit to the Ask (3 minutes)

SAY: Write down exactly what you’ll say to the person, how you’ll ask them, and when you’ll do it. Then share those details with me. Following through on this will help build your confidence as a father.

Be sure to download and share the PDF of each activity to use and to share with others. Stay tuned for more in the series!

If you missed the previous Quick Confidence Build, click here to check it out!